Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Commence with the kicking now

Ah. The munchies have subsided. Finally.
Thankfully once I got home after working late and a trip to the library J and I got engulfed in doing our taxes (whoop de doo) and it took forever, so other than few pretzels I managed to keep it together. We don't owe so all is good, but it took ages. I can see why people pay somone to do it...

I'm a little peeved as my Dad wants to come and visit while I'm away, and my husband had plans to have the weekend to himself, so I feel bad asking my Dad to come the night I get back as opposed to on friday. I know I shouldn't feel guilty as Dad says it's not a big deal and he changed plans from arriving the day I get back to coming friday, but darn it -I still feel bad - I want to tell J to just suck it up and let Dad stay, but I know that is not fair to him. And yet I feel like it should be OK for Dad to come...argh. Why do people put you in this situation? *sigh* It doesn't help that J got booked to work tomorrow morning so he can't take me to the train like he was going to so I'm a little pissy about that...I have to try and figure out if I can get a ride from my brother or if I have to take a cab (won't be cheap). Life is trying to muck up my happy plans but I will have none of it. I'm leaving. I am going to enjoy myself. It can do what it likes while I'm away...

On the plus side I was in to workout today. The bus was 10 minutes late, but I still managed a decent workout. I got in my abfest, assisted tricep dips and 35 sweaty minutes on the arc trainer. Feels good.

It's another long day, but I can reap the rewards I hope...I just have to kick life into line so I can run away for a few days and hopefully not offend in the process...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

PMS is lame

Repeat after me:

I do not need to eat everything in sight.
I do not need to eat everything in sight.
I do not need to eat everything in sight.
I do not need to eat everything in sight.
I do not need to eat everything in sight.

*sigh*

Some months I'm fine.
This month?
PMS muncheez -I haz dem.
Grrr.

Soon!

Ah...this AM I was up and into the gym. I woke up starving so I ate an apple on the way - it seemed to sit OK in my stomach which is good. Usually I can't eat before I workout or I feel nauseous...but today it was fine. I did my deadlifts and lunges and squats and a few other things and then 29 sweaty minutes of cardio. I tried to do 1 legged squats - heh. Currently - impossible. I did 6 on each leg fully assisted by pulling myself up onto a weight rack. After seeing a workout on Bodyrock.tv I am determined to be able to do 10 on each leg. It may take ma all year, but I'm adding it to my workouts...when I first started I could only do 2 or 3 one legged lunges and I'm up to 20 on each leg, so I know i can do it if I slowly work up to it. And my ass will look fantastic :)
Today is another day with healthy meals and snacks.

Yesterday was wonderful. It's so nice out finally. Spring has arrived. J met me at work and we walked home along the riverbank and then had BBQ tinfoil potatoes and yams with a few homemade curried pork burgers. Yum. Then I ran a few errands to prepare for my weekend getaway. I'm getting so excited - an old friend of mine is home to Winnipeg from the UK for two weeks and I'm able to sneak away for a long weekend to visit her and her family...AND I'm taking the train :) There was a sale on, and no direct flights there, so for the approximate same amount of time, and very little $$ I can train it to Winnipeg and bus it back (no train on sundays for some reason). I'm so excited....many hours to watch the countryside go by. I'm going to the library tonight to stock up on a few good books (oh my - reading for fun!!), and I'm all kitted out with mini-cheeses, apples, granola bars and beef jerky in case the food car is stocked with less than healthy stuff. I'll have my lappy to work on my thesis if I feel the urge, but I am honestly looking forward to many relaxing hours there and back. I used to bus it everywhere in university (I didn't have a car so I didn't get my licence for years) and I love it on the bus - don't have to drive or pay attention...just relax and let someone else drive while I read, listen to music or do whatever. You meet interesting people...see interesting things. Time to myself to relax - it will be a very cool time. I've never taken the train before here so I'm pumped. My own little adventure :)

And so I must be good - I have some work to finish up so I can take the few days off guilt free and make sure my poor J doesn't starve while I'm away.
Later taters! :)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Happy Egg Day everyone!

I had a nice weekend. I worked friday but then was off with J for the rest of it, and had a family supper sunday. It was wonderful...I don't even know the last time I had 2 days off in a row. I napped, read books, drank wine, ate cheese (smoked applewood cheddar...mmm...) and enjoyed myself. I didn't go crazy, but I certainly indulged a bit...but, I'm done that now. Back on track this AM back in the gym and I have healthy meals planned all week. I did my butt workout with my arms and back weight stuff, my abfest and 27 minutes on the arc trainer. I can tell I overate and had some wine at sunday supper...today seemed very hard to do. But I did it :)

My allergies are going NUTSO right now. It's been windy and dusty and all the snow mold and crap from the spring melt is floating about in the air...I've got the whole watery eyes, sneezy thing going on. I've had to use my inhaler far more than normal...I'm hoping the street sweepers get out soon and we get a good rain to boot - it's like having the start of a cold that never really goes anywhere. Thankfully I can still do my thing and exercise so far. I don't like to take antihistamines...either they make me grind my teeth and I can't concentrate or they put me to sleep so I try and just deal with it when things like this happen. I'll live :)

On thursday night the DJs we went to see were great. I danced my face off. I was, however disgusted by the sheer grope facter of the club we went to. it was sickening. I ranted about it on my other blog, and I still, days later, am amazed that guys can think that it's OK to act like that towards women. I do think I'm going to get a shirt printed up to wear next time I go out that says "I'm married. Go away" on it and see if it helps. It was quite rediculous.

Well, enough of that. I must reset my mind to better things and be off. Much to do. Have a good day :)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Hooray for technology

Hooray - I fixed my iPod. I was able to restore it to factory settings at work an then when I got home I dumped back all the pod casts and tunage onto it. It took ages because my computer is old and only has USB1, but I set her up to go and went to bed. J was out late and he shut it down for me when he got in. He's been busy this week too...after a night shoot he got to go to a meeting for a thing he and some friends are planning....it's coming together well. And he got a little time out with the guys too, which is a good thing. If there is one good thing about me working so much, it's encouraged J to get out and do more things on his own and develop some friendships outside of me...I'm glad to see him happily busy. Tonight we have tickets to go out and dance our butts off. We have tickets to Mstrkrft and Crystal Method. Time to shake it like a Polaroid picture. :)

This AM I was up and in to work (with my new tunes) and did my butt work, with the upper body stuff and then 29 minutes on the arc trainer, all sweaty to the new music...it's nice to have a whole bunch of new stuff to choose from. The gym is closed tomorrow, so I'll have to devise a home workout before I come in and do a bit of work all day, but if I can start late because...well, I'll be out late and I'm in on my own time AND if I'm very lucky I can take Sat and Sun off work (well not come *in* to work anyways...) and spend some time with J. I have supper with my brother and Dad on sunday, which should be nice. Plus the local retro theatre is also having a showing of Labyrinth (costumes encouraged...he heh...wish I had time for that!) on the weekend. My bro and I (I swear he's such a girl) are planning to go...I LOVED that film. Plus, I mean David Bowie in tight pants? Jennifer Connolly? Jim Henson magic? :) I can't wait...I think I can get J to come too (musicals make him make funny faces but this one is cool). It will be nice to relax a bit :)

And so I must be off to the lab. I got back my grade on my reading class - 85% Oh. Yeah.
Done with class...now back to the fun. I have to look at all I have to do and make a plan to get it done. Very exciting :)
Ta tah!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Now my iPod doesn't like me either...

AAAARGH!
I was lamenting my computer problems continuing...then I lost this post. Seriously. I'm jinxed.
As Monty Python says - Start again...

Last night I finally got to sit down and reload up my iPod nano with new podcasts and music...but then found when I disconnected it there was nothing on it. It somehow got corrupted when I disconnected it. Soooo...i tried to plug it back in and reload - no dice. It wouldn't recognise it. So I tried to reset it to factory settings and psyched myself up to do it all over again...and couldn't. Some glitch in iTunes that it wouldn't talk to the server to restore it. SO I followed on line advice and tried erasing the iPod and *THEN* trying it. Nada. So I basically have a pretty little green brick until I can fix it. I'm going to try using one of the Macs at work and see if I can restore it here... Maybe I sweated too much on it...who knows? It was a gift from my brother when he bought a new one, so it's not like I'm out $$...just convenience. I have an old OLD 2nd gen iPod I can pull out, but this Nano had a better battery and was tiny and good for workouts...and it was green :)
I'm trying not to fantasize about replacing it with a new iPod Touch...sure I could spend the year's clothing budget I've been saving up on a new doohicky...buuuuut then I'd have no pants.
A dilemma indeed :)

At any rate, I was in to the gym this morning (without music...sniff) for my midweek workout - more cardio, less weights. I did a few assisted tricep dips and pull ups, but it was pretty much an abfest with 35 minutes of cardio on the arc trainer. It was a good workout.

And now I must be off to the lab to do some science. Immunohistochemical staining if you wanted to know what :)

Later taters!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

computers don't like me today

All computers are my enemy this morning. I tried to put some tracks on my iPod this AM to work out to but it did not get done...hopefully tonight...here at work they keep crashing. *sigh* I'm curious to see if this post survives...

This AM I was up and in the gym to do my dead lifts, walking lunges and one legged Bulgarian squats, some pull downs, forward rows, hamstring extentions and some inner thigh and butt stuff on the hip machine (I think I'm the only one that uses that thing). Tuesdays I usually then go for a swim but I just honestly was not in the mood...so I hopped on the arc trainer with a podcast and sweated out 28 glorious minutes on a cross train program. Now I'm in at work with healthy food and another day of sciency stuff.

I just realised it's Easter weekend this weekend. I was all excited about being done classes and going to see the Crystal Method on thursday night I'd sort of forgotten the holiday was here. My Dad is coming down for a few days so it will be nice to see him, and I haven't really had a chance to see my brother since the day I hit a snowbank in January and he helped me dig myself out...so it'll be nice to visit. If I'm lucky I can get most of my work done on good friday and have a few days off. That will be cool :) I've been focused on visiting a good old friend of mine who is home from the UK for a few weeks. She'll be in Winnipeg at the end of the month so I think I'll hop on the train and go see her for a day or so...I can't wait. It's a good reward for being good little lab slave. :)

Hope you all have a great day. What are your Easter plans??
I'm off to the lab to see what sort of trouble I can get up to :)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Off like a shot

Just popping in to log. Must run.

This AM I was in for my butt exercises and some upper body stuff, my abfest and 27 minutes on the arc trainer. Good stuff. I had a weekend of dinners and banquets (YUM) so I must be good this week :)

Hope you all have a fab day. I'm off like shot.
Bye!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Hell is being tech support for other people

Yesterday was long - I was at a conference in town all day, so I worked out at home. I did my good old exerball DVD and my abfest (without the medicine ball twists). So many pushups...except for the pushups it seemed too easy. Weird.

The conference was interesting but I had a few problems...I offered to help and somehow got roped into trying to fix any and all tech problems. Hell truly is trying to fix powerpoint issues on an unknown laptop that is acting up and a old projector in a room of old, non-tech savvy people. My bosses wanted all the odd issues fixed NOW as they were putting the conference on and they wanted it all to go off well. Occasionally they'd order me around as to what to do and they would all all hover (I hate people watching over my shoulder) and try and help by taking over to do what you just did and then give it back to you and...yeah. It was a bit much. I didn't lose my temper, but I did get somewhat testy at one point...I dislike being ordered about like a peon. I hope I didn't come off as too rude. It really went beyond what I'd sign up for and I felt very disrespected...VERY. I'm going to have to talk to my bosses about it on monday...not looking forward to it, but I just don't like how I was treated the more I think about it...I can't let it go. Hooray for planning out awkward conversations... :(

I'm in at work on a saturday. Doing some of my work and some for someone else...to make a little extra $$ for some pretties.. Last night J and I stayed in and watched a movie. It was nice. Max and Mary...a claymation film which is fantastic-wierd, funny, dark. And I finally found some popchips to try out - YUM. I love them...J's not a huge fan. Which is great actually - more for me :)

I must get back to the sciencey stuff. We're going out for dinner tonight so I want some time to pretty myself up.
Later taters :)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Just a sec...

Quick stop in - must dash. Just wanted to log.
This AM I did 3 sets of my my butt/arm workout: 20 step ups (each leg) with 12 Lbs dumbbells, 15 standing rows (17.5 Lb dumbbells), 20 one legged dead lifts (each leg) with 12 Lb dumbbells, 12 military press with 15 Lb dumbbells (alternate every 3 with 1 curl), then 15 squats with 17.5 Lb dumbbells, then 13 T side arm raises with 10Lb dumbbells.
Then a nice swim: 10 laps, 5 just legs with flipper board and 5 front crawl (alternating)

Now it's off to work.

Later taters!


silly comment #46: did you know a possible spelling correction suggestion from the Blogger spellcheck is bloodmobile? Yeah I know. Bizarre...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"It had salt on it-big grains of salt"


Last night I got home at a normal hour, had supper and wen tout to a movie with J. It was great. It's final exam time so the theatre was really quiet and I finally got to see Suckerpunch - I've been waiting for it and haven't had time until now. I loved it. It was AWESOME - seriously one of the best films I've seen in ages! There was no line up so we splurged and got some popcorn too, which we normally don't do. It was yummy...and I'm quite willing to work out a little extra all week just cuz. I forgot how salty it is tho - MAN. Last night before I went to bed - big glass of water. This AM when I got up - big glass of water. Then 10 oz while I worked out this AM...AND my protein shake (mmm...cookies and cream...)...and I *now* have an XL coffee that I am still thirsty enough to drink down no problem. Whew. Yup - still thirsty. Think I'll be a little squishy for a few days until all the sodium is gone. I really don't eat much salt anymore, but for me it's the crunchy salty things that I crave. So tasty...but I'm good for another few months now :)

This AM I was in, back to normal schedule. Wed is ab day with longer cardio. 35 minutes on the arctrainer with crosstrain program and then my abfest and a few sets of assisted tricep dips and some assisted pull ups.
Now it's some breakfast and some science.
Cheers!


Later: It took all day and rediculous amounts of liquid (14 glasses) but I'm finally not thirsty. I am however unable to get any labwork done as I keep stopping every 20 minutes to pee. *sigh*

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

They call me mellow yellow

Ah. Last night I grabbed a pita on the way home and was in bed by 7:30...slept like a baby rock all night. This Am I got up at the usual time, but needed extra time to sort out things and make munches and get my life in a bit of order. I was still in by 7AM for a nice swim - 12 laps in the pool. Now it's off for a day where I actually feel rested. :) Might even see a movie tonight - we'll see.
Oh the luxury of not being insane.
How I've missed it :)

And spring is here. We need a good rain so the snow mold goes away and I won't be so sniffly, but for now it's nice to see the ground everywhere and not need umpteen layers to be outside. Not too long and I'll be able to take my bike to work.
Crazy!

This song has been in my head all morning-not sure why.
I went through a Clockwork Orange phase in university...and this bizarre little ditty is at the end of the soundtrack. Cracks me up every time. Enjoy the wierdness...


Have a wonderful day everybody :)

Monday, April 11, 2011

VICTORY IS MINE!


I was up until 5 AM...organizing my ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY SIX references....
but....
I'M DONE!
18 pages of knowledge.
Now to give it a once over at lunch for glaring errors and hand it in. I slept in this morning for obvious reasons...just have to make it through the day.
here goes nothing.

I'm so glad to be done that paper.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Stay on target...

The other day when a doctor at work asked me if I was considering doing my PhD after I finished grad school I emphatically replied "Oh dear god no!". It was at that point I reaffirmed to myself that yes, while this MSc thing is swell, well, the swelling is subsiding. I was a little too enthusiastic in my response.
Why?
Well...I'm ragged. To quote Bilbo Baggins "I feel tired. Spread thin like butter over too much bread."
Yesterday a good friend I work with, with whom I share a nerdy love of sci-fi and who treats me like daughter, took me aside to make sure I was OK. He firmly instructed me to try and take some time off after I hand in my last paper and (this shocked me) make sure I eat. I do eat. I'm guessing I'm not looking so healthy, despite all the compliments I've been getting lately. And yes...I eat healthy and well, but there is no snacking...there is no time. I am here at work, often from the 6:30 AM I arrive to workout until I hop on a 10 PM bus home. I'm in the best shape of my life exercise wise, but energy wise? Well, I just want a nap.
It suck-diddly-ucks Flanders.

Yes once I hand in this last paper my academic portion of my MSc will be done and things will lighten up somewhat...and I can't wait. I realised yesterday when a coworker was complaining about how stressed out they were by their life (they're single, with no real issues and work part-time and have been getting full time hours lately. Oh no! The stress! (...can you feel my dripping sarcasm?)). It took all I had while listening to not say "Buddy - you have NO IDEA what stress is. Shut up and deal - suck it up."
Truth is there are times lately when I'd like to just wig out...fall apart and cry out my stress and let J hold me until I feel better...but there's just no time. He knows how I feel and I get ninja sneak attack hug therapy , but I'm still not liking this ball of stress making a nest in my gut. And I don't like belittling other people's problems by comparing them to mine, regardless of whether it's somewhat justifiable.
I just don't like being the kind of person who thinks like that.
I can't wait to finish this paper.
Just 2 more looong days...

Don't get me wrong - it's not all evil. Yesterday after work I got to go get a haircut and colour and I feel very pretty. I picked up some amazing smoked cherizo sausage tortellini and we had that with some warmed foccatia garlic bread and a glass of wine for supper and relaxed with J and watched a whole (new!) episode of Futurama before I went back to work on my paper...

But it's not enough...I want *more*
I crave my life.

Friday, April 8, 2011

80s flashback

This morning I forgot my headphones so I listened to the gym tunes...it was set on 80s rock. Oh my...nothing like some Van Halen and Heart to get you going. He hee...

I did my dead lifts and lunges and lower body and upper body work, my abs and then 30 minutes on the arc trainer to finish off. It's my friday off work (we get every 4th friday off) so I'm in all day to work on my MSc stuff. I came into the gym at my usual time, but it was nice to not have to rush...I could do everything and enjoy it more.

Now, after a phone meeting with my supervisor, I'm all set for my final (whoop! whoop!) class and I can work on my last paper that I hand in monday. So close to the end...so close. I'm about half done evil paper #2... A weekend of hard work and this puppy will be done.

I must be off for some sciency wiency stuff. Have a great weekend everyone :)

image

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I beg to differ - I *am* the slowest swimmer :)

FINALLY getting somewhere with my paper. Wish I had more time. It's due monday so I'm going to be a paper slave to get it all done and referenced up the wazoo in time. But I think it will be a good one...if I can just get it done :)

This morning the pool was open again (yay!) so I was able to come in and do my butt and arm work and then swim 10 laps in the nice warm pool. There was someone sharing the lane with me who was...um...lacking in knowledge of personal space and faster than me (I should clarify that *everyone* swims faster than me). She kept swimming right up behind me but wasn't willing to pass me. I think I even accidentally kicked her arm once, thru no fault of my own. Oops. There was only 3 of us in the slow lane so I didn't think she'd have trouble not running in to me...yeah.

This AM when I did my rows and squats I used 17.5 Lb dumbbells, and 15Lb for my military presses. 12 Lbfor my step ups and one legged dead lifts and 10Lb for my T arm raises. Booyah! And now - cottage cheese and fruit and coffee and I'm off on a mission.

SCIENCE!

image

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

My feet hurt from kicking ass so hard

I saw that on a shirt this morning and it made me laugh out loud. I think I will adopt it as my motto for the week :)

This morning I was actually grateful for my slightly annoying 5:25 AM alarm clock kitties. I forgot to turn my alarm on last night, but thanks to the Geek batting at me to get up at my usual time and Gavin meowing about the lack of tummy rubs he was receiving I got woken up and as I shooed them away I realised I should be up...and so I got up no problem...and was up and in to the gym to do a few arm things, but mostly full on abfesting as wednesday is less weights with more cardio and ab time. I tried a few sets of assisted tricep dips too...holy moly. Tough! New challenge for me :). Then it was hop on the arc trainer for 35 minutes of sweaty interval training. Good stuff. I feel really good.

Now I'm in for (yum) pineapple and blueberries and cottage cheese and another day...it's the last week of classes. I picked up some homemade yogurt at the farmer's market on saturday - Yum. And the ingredients? Milk, bacteria, stevia and fruit. That's it. So. Good. So that's tomorrow with some granola...mmm...I figure if I have to work on saturdays I get to go to the farmer's market first. It's the little things that keep me going.

I'm so glad that it is the last week of overwhelming ridiculousness. Here's hoping that come monday when the dust settles all papers are done and I am still sane, without need of a tin foil hat. Then it will just be regular ridiculousness...he heh. *sigh* I admit...I'm running out of muchness, so I'm glad things are winding down. I got to bed at a humane hour last night, altho I really should have done more work. After working until 8 and then getting groceries and putting them away and doing a few chores...well...I was just grumpy and done with the day. There's no way I could do this all the time...why do people do this on purpose?
Later taters...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Everybody out of the pool!

Bummer - the pool was closed today. We waited patiently and then were told we couldn't go in as the chemicals were way out of whack...eep. Hopefully it'll be fixed up by thursday. Before my swim I'd taken 30 minutes to do my lower legs stuff, and some arm work and after my swim denial (sniff) I threw my gear back on and hopped on the arc trainer for a good sweaty 23 minutes...it was all I could fit in. Then I hopped in the shower and came in to work just in time with a healthy breakfast after enjoying my workout treat - banana and protein shake. Yum. Cookies and cream...
Today is another long day...lots do do and it's grocery day too...Looking forward to stocking up on healthy goodies, but it's not terribly convenient with me trying to write up my big evil paper #2. I want it to be good. I have all my literature search done, which took forever. I have about 70 papers and a few books to use as source material...I'll probably only need 2/3 of those, but scientists get all persnickety when you don't reference EVERYTHING, so I had to cover my ass, even for things I know from university. Review articles are annoying that way. Makes for extra work...but it is the last thing. I hope to have it done friday, but realistically I can get it in monday or tuesday no problem and it will be fine (I love flexible grad deadlines!).
Last academic class requirement for my MSc.
Hot damn.
And so I must be off. Work and my cells and my cursed paper are calling me.
Later taters...

Monday, April 4, 2011

Jumping in with both feet

Monday's here. Week 2 of crazy go nuts university has begun.
But you know what? I can do it. I know I can.

Saturday and sunday I got a chance to relax and unwind and catch up on my severe lack of sleep. After working all saturday, J and I got to go out with friends to a new club I've never been to to see my friend's band play. They rocked it. Later we went to hear a funky favourite DJ of mine and I danced my butt off. Laughing sweaty fun with friends -it's been a while. I've met some new very kind and sweet people over the last 6 months or so - new crowd. They are very creative and kind. A bit younger than I, but old souls...they will be good friends I think.

Sunday J and I relaxed with banana pancakes and lots of napping. I some research for my paper, but it was in bed surrounded by cats and J and sunshine, so it didn't seem like work at all :) We fired up the BBQ for the first time this season and had some yummy tinfoil potatoes and chicken souvlaki...mmm...I'm so glad it's warmed up enough to BBQ again. J teases me at how much I love to BBQ. It's just so goooood!

This morning I was up and in to the gym as usual. I did my lower body butt stuff and ab exercises, but only had time for 25 minutes on the arc trainer. I can tell I had 4 days off and a few beer and cider on the weekend because I really had to push myself in the weights portion...I actually had to stop for breath between legs on my step ups which is why I got in a bit less cardio, but I did them all-no skimping with careful form. I'm proud of myself for that. On my monthly weigh in I'm down 2 lbs, so I know I'm maintaining, which is all I'm after. With all my crazy life lately, it's good to know I can keep me in the picture and ensure I'm looking after myself. So far so good.

And now - it's off to another crazy long day.
Here we go!

Friday, April 1, 2011

I AM NORMAL!

I stopped on my way home (oh how leisurely!) to get a few groceries and there was a clothing store nearby, so, on a whim, I popped in as I had a bit of free time for the first time in...well...a week. Spring stuff is coming in and I, literally, have no summer clothes. Tank tops yes but no skirts or shorts or anything like that to wear. Old stuff's all too baggy.
I tried on a few things and it messes with my head a little bit because I look completely and utterly NORMAL. Like the most normally normal person you could think of. I tried on skirts and shirts and shorts...and could choose from whatever. Lots were too BIG. As I tried on a zillion skirts and shirts (in size 6 no less) I was hit on the side of the head with the fact that I can just get whatever I like now. It comes down to if I like it or not....because it ALL FITS.
This is so weird and foreign to me. Yes, in my head I thought I knew I'm healthy and "new" shaped but seriously? I put on cotton shorts...the kind I'd be VERY uncomfortable in before...would hate from odd folds and wrinkles and not EVER want to sit in them because of how my legs would bulge out. And you know what? They look great now. My legs are not perfect, but they're good enough for me :) And get this - this is a super massive revelation the size of Godzilla - my thighs don't touch anymore. No...seriously...no rubbing when I walk. They're just...my legs. Pants and shorts fit like they're supposed to and won't bunch up when I walk! It will take me a while to realise this I think...to be completely comfortable in shorts. It also turns out I like skirts on me. I now have a few cute skirts - a lime green cord skirt and a cute denim one that both are about 3 inches above the knee...and I like them. No weird thigh thoughts...I just relax.
Now when hot weather comes I at least have a go to option. I'll have to get some shorts too. eventually...and teach myself how to be comfortable in them.

Today I wore a skirt and my boots for my speech and I loved it...I'm no longer self conscious about my legs. They are a non-issue. Which in itself is an big deal.
It's cool to realise how far I really have come...and how my brain needs to catch up with me on a few things. I've been nose to the grindstone, so I forget sometimes.

Yay me :)

Gah.

Last night I was in at work until 11 and up until 4. FOUR! I did hours of work on something, noly to have it crash and have to do it again. Saying I was discouraged would be an understatement. It's due today so I had to stay up and redo it all and finish it.
I have a speech today that I haven't een really looked at yet because of it and I've only had 3 hours of sleep so I'm a tad crotchety. Needless to say I didn't work out this morning. Sleep was more inportant. I just have to survive today (and hopefully do OK on my speech) and then I can get home and crash.

What a week this has been...