The final countdown

Da na NAH NAAAH! Da da DAT dat daaah!
It's all up crazy around here. First I was defending...then no...then yes...then no...then now, if I meet deadlines, YES.
I think I've aged a decade in a week.
I'm so tired...
I was up until 2 finishing the past few small pages of edits so that my supervisor can look at looking it over the weekend. The trickiest thing was my abstract. It can only be 350 words. Awha?? Summarize 78 pages in 350 words? Not easy let me tell you!!!

I will be spending all weekend going some other final revisions so I can give a final final draft to my supervisor on tuesday to look over overnight prior to submission for any glaring errors. I will be checking figures. Reding it over a few times for flow. Checking tables and page numbers and page formatting....all the little stuff that falls between the cracks. Crap I can't stand, but that needs to be done. I want to be judged on my topic and research and not my inability to write or edit. I'm sure I'll miss something...but I will try.
I will be at the lake visiting Dad, as planned, but not as relaxed as I'd planned. I might get in some fishing. We'l see. I feel bad that I won't have the relaxing visit I'd hoped, but the deadlines I've been given have changed...and I have to do this or give up my only summer holiday, not graduate in until spring, pay $700 and defend in the fall.
I refuse that if I have any say in it.
I want a final date. I want to be done. It's crazy and mad, and I will be so busy... but I am at the point where, for my sanity, I HAVE to be done this. My supervisor went to bat for me to find a way for my defense to happen, if I can meet these deadlines. *gulp*
I will get it my final draft back Wed AM and then have all day to make any minor remaining corrections   (I hope there are zilch) before it goes to my committee members for review on wed PM/thursday AM. If I have to, I will print off copies myself and give it to people. Still have to check in on that. BUT the long and the short of it is if I can spend all weekend at the lake going over the thesis and making it perfect (on a deck with a beer doesn't seem so bad!) and get it in on time, then I will be on track to defend the last week of August. No extra fees. No craziness. AND I get to go away camping to a music festival free and clear of stress and thinking about my thesis for the first time in over 6 months!! Oh how I will dance!
When I get back I will have a month or so to put together my defence presentation and read everything I can get my hands on so I am prepared for any and all questions that may come at my defence. I'm trying to think of potential defense questions...and answer them ahead of time. Yup. I'm a keener. But that is for later. Now...

Bang on!

When I got home yesterday I hopped on the elliptical for 25 minutes and then felt good so I banged out 2 reps through of the BRTV hot girls sweat workout before supper. Woke me up nicely for a long night of editing. It's tricky being a detailed corrector of your own work, but I am trying. I am also incorporating both supervisor's comments and edits and trying to keep the flow of things. I think I have done so. I am half done. Tonight is the other half. And the figures. Somewhere in the middle I have to finish a draft of my abstract. Sheesh.
I'd like to have a draft that I can pop in to work next week and print off a final draft for my supervisors to go over while I am camping for a day or so...Here's hoping I can. I didn't want to take it to the lake, but I will. Maybe print off a copy for me too to go over on the drive back. I also have to finishing my reference updating which requires the internet and (for some painful reason) is now taking over 15 minutes per reference to add. I have about 20 left...I am trying to add them here and there at work in the hopes of getting them done. Crossing my fingers and toes. SO close.
Since I was up until 3 and have another long night of editing, as well as driving all friday to see my Dad I don't want to overdo it today. I may try and bang out a short workout again when I get home. We'll sure felt good yesterday :).

sleep is where I'm a viking

Last night was nice. There was some work, but since there was a huge thunderstorm, J couldn't work late (no power at work) so he came home early and we could meet his favourite aunt and her family for thai food for a break. They are down visiting and we were concerned we couldn't see them before they left, so it was really nice to have a visit. Got some work done and went to bed at a normal time. This morning I had time to get up and make proper lunches and a long hot shower and have a hot breakfast  before a stormy walk to work. I do need to work out. I just know the crazy feeling I get when I am overtired and forgo sleep for exercise...and I don't want that. Yes it keeps me buffed...buffed and crazy.

Especially when I know the end is near. Very soon I will just have my life back again...and then I can spend some time for me back every morning in the gym. Now it's when I can. I may bang out a workout when I get home before supper. Not sure- I am just feeling really worn at the moment and trying to find a balance. It's tricky. And things will resettle once my thesis is submitted next month. Until's all over the place. Just trying to eat healthy and maintain. Sanity and thesis are priority one.

Just keep swimming swimming swimming...


Last night I tried to work but honestly didn't accomplish much. Very tired. It was our first super hot day and soooo very muggy. Thunderstorm weather. It's the same today. Hot and muggy and it's not even 9AM yet!
Was woken up by a doozy of a thunderstorm around midnight, but the rain and hail only lasted a few minutes. Woek up to J giggling at me. I must have jumped a foot! I swear the lightning struck right by the house. So bright and loud!!
I slept in this morning and feel very human indeed.
Must get to work!

Glow. Glow divine.

Went for a long walk this weekend with J at dusk. Saw fireflies! A rare treat. It was like nature knew we needed a break together...we saw and heard bats, a zillion types of birds (one I've never heard before sounded like some kind of scifi laser), fireflies, bats and even a lumbering porcupine! (and mosquitos...he heh). Spent all saturday with J. It was amazing.
Sunday started with some quiche and then an email from my supervisor which started a 14 hour stint of thesis draft revision. Went through her entire 76 pages of revisions and finished at 4 AM, but I got it back for her to work on again today. Score! Time is of the essence right now. My other supervisor is trapped in BC due to flooding and road closures. I'm doing all I can on my end to keep up, and am prepared to just take what life offers me timelinewise. I know if I've done all I can I can rest in the knowledge that I have done so and what will be will be. I still hold out hope I'll be done and defend on time, but the stress of it all isn't worth it. It was driving me mad trying to control the uncontrollable and I can't make people go faster even if I want to push them in the rump to get going. They have a life full of life to deal with too...

This morning I did want to workout, but I figured 3 hours of sleep was more important than that. I may nap and workout tonight when I get home. We'll see. I slept in both days on the weekend so I am not feeling too worse for wear. At least not yet. I made the most amazing healthy supper on sunday and I ahve more for lunch today - curried quinoa with snow peas and nectarines, pea sprouts and red onions tossed with a dressing made of spicy mango chutney, rice vinegar, some more masala and a bit of olive oil. I added a bit of chicken breast we had already cooked up. Man -so fresh and incredible...I tell ya, the subscription I got to Vegetarian Times has given me some of the best recipes I've ever had.

Hummed this song as I walked at dusk on saturday and the fireflies buzzed one by one around us in the grass...gloooow, gloooow diviiiiiine.

Much dash. Hope you all had a good weekend and have a great day! :)


Last night was better, I must admit. Had a long talk with my supervisor on the phone. Hashed out some things. Worked out a new schedule (again...) for getting revisions. J met me at work and we walked home in the sunshine, had a BBQ and then and got some things done around the house. Even did a bit of thesis work. Made it bed by a human hour. Decent end to a day really.
This morning I crawled form bed determined to fit in a workout. I went to the living room and hammered out the Bodyrocktv Hot girls sweat workout plus an extra set of planks, side planks, bent rows and squat and presses. It's a favourite workout of mine. I wanted to do it 3X through but didn't have the time, so i did it 2x through...

30 sec work/10sec rest :

-pushup with side twist
-sandbag swing (used 10Lb dumbell)
-switch lunges
-bentover row
-side lunge Left with weight
-side lunge right with weight
-pushup with shoulder touch
-lunge and twist with weight (alternating legs)
-squat + shoulder press
-elevated pushups
-mountain climbers
-bent rows (or reverse pullups if you have a bar. I don't)
-side plank left
-side plank right
-tricep dip
-goblet squat with weight

Feeling better.
It's a mini-class reunion tonight...some old high school friends are all passing through town so we're meeting up for supper town at a great thai restaurant to hang out and catch up. Should be fun :)

beyond frustrated

No workout this morning. I was up until almost 2 last night. I wish I could say I was working on my thesis. I could have worked out but I was tired. And seriously bummed out. It took all I had to get out of bed.
Here's the deal: My supervisor, who had my final thesis section since friday only started looking at it LAST NIGHT which was when she was to give it back to me. So, because she was "tired and had to stop" I only have 1/3 of it, which I stayed up to work on. She feels it is "horrible" and must be "extensively revised". I didn't think it was that bad...I'm more pissed at the time delay and her taking so damn long to even start to revise it and then get snitty at me for pointing out my looming deadlines. For making me wait and put things off. She knows how tight time is.

Poor J - when I got home he found me sobbing in frustration. We talked a bit and he helped cheer me up a bit so I could wind down a bit and sleep. I'm still on the edge though. I have a phone meeting with my supervisor in a half an hour and I hope it goes well.

I am just so utterly tired of working my ass off to find that my time and life are unimportant to others.
I have to rearrange my schedule over and over and over again. *I* have to wait. I keep putting my life on hold.  It's always in flux.

*I had a lot of bitter angry ranting here...but I deleted it...cause I'm calmer now, and I don't want to put that kind of spiteful negativity out there for you to about a bunny, K? Or maybe a piece of key lime pie instead.


If you ever offer to be a supervisor or mentor for someone I beg of you - take that responsibility to heart. Do not make your student's lives hell by mucking about with their schedules and putting your life before theirs. Don't leave and hand over responsibility and randomly, arbitrarily take it back. Because I know how the receiving end of it feels. It is lame...

I call shenanigans

OK, so I know I'm PMSing and cranky, but after being good for a few days I get on the scale to day to see I've gained 2LB? Seriously? No fair.
Boo to that. Yes I feel squishy, but that really did a number on my brain. Trying to forget about it and forge ahead...

At any rate, I was going to get up and go in to the gym, but was up late working so instead I slept in almost an hour and worked out at home. I did the bodyrock Suck the Fat workout 4X through instead of 3 with my abfest and called it a morning. I guess I just need to kick it up a notch...

Now it's work work work and trying to not think about the scale...with any luck my supervisor will get back to me with my revised conclusion so I can send it to my other supervisor for their revisions...

Well it's allright...

Last night I was tired. Old me can't stay up late on the weekends like I used to. I'm getting old! :)

I walked home from work yesterday and met J halfway. It was nice. Had a lazy supper and then worked on my thesis abstract for a bit before I gave up after a few chores and went to bed at ~9. Yes, it's a party a minute around here :) Sometimes, when you can, it's good to just sleep. I'll be ramping up wed and thursday night again with a lot of work, so I want to really work on the abstract tonight again and sleep when I can. Hopefully I'll actually be more awake was hard for me to stay alert with the sound of J and his cat napping on the couch(they were both snoring...he hee) while I worked. I really didn't feel like doing much at all, but I tried for a few hours before I gave in to sleep. :)

This morning I got up and hammered out the BU FA workout from bodyrocktv. 2 times thru (whew) of 30 sec work/10 sec rest for 16 exercises- killer! I subbed out jumping jacks for frog jumps since my knees really hate them, and used my 8Lb dumbells as weights for the workouts, with the rest "as is". Yay me :)   Then after that I did 2 sets of 20 of bent rows and 20 shoulder presses and alternated twice thru 30 seconds sets of front plant, side plank L side, side plank R side and supermans. Ah :) Felt good. I've really lost strength, but it will come back...feels good to workout.

Now it's another day. Much to do at work and at home...
Hope you all have a most excellent day :)

Enjoy this little's an old fave that has been in my head all morning. loved these guys...I mean Roy Orbson AND George Harrison all in one? :)

eye of the storm

After a week of insane work I now wait for revisions from both supervisors on my "final" thesis draft. One supervisor I am not concerned about...the other? Who knows. She tends to be...well...unpredictable (scientifically polite term for crazy) and I have no idea what response I'll get - if it doesn't match what she wants in her head she'll try and change it. I only am taking some of her comments under consideration because it isn't her thesis - it's mine. I will correct for clarity and accuracy, but not for her agenda of what she things the project is...because she buggered off to Toronto 4 months into it and I think I pulled it together very well over the next 2 years without her. My other supervisor is not so much the expert on the topic, but is an excellent supervisor -he is very fair and I know whatever comments I get will be legitimate for correction of clarity and content.
Now I just make my summary page "abstract" for the thesis and read over sections for clarity ...and wait for the revisions to return. It's strange to work so madly and then just stop, but I'll take it. After a few weeks of utterly all out slavery, I had a life this weekend.
Friday night I was able to go see a movie with J (Prometheus...loved it). Then I relaxed with a glass of wine and a book while J went out with the guys. Saturday was much relaxing with coconut pancakes, 15K walk in the sunshine, a BBQ and then a night of music with bands and a few good DJs and a late late night. Sunday the sunshine was gone again and since it was raining I I got to bake up a storm to use up my rhubarb from the back yard which is HUGE from all the rain lately. Made a rhubarb style coffee cake for father's day supper, then rhubarb matrimony cake to bring in for work today and some muffins for us and STILL had a few cups left to freeze. Fathers day BBQ was at J's sisters place and got to relax with his family for a bit. It was really cute - my niece Lily is 3 and she can't quite put father's day together yet. She figures since it's a gathering with a cake it *has* to be a birthday and kept telling her Dad (J's brother) happy birthday all day. When they left she hugged us all and said happy birthday. She is the cutest :)

This morning I crawled form bed and worked out at home. I did the bodyrock my body rocks workout (4 times through instead of 3) and the bonus ab work and then had a protein shake and some cottage cheese and pineapple (one of my favourite things) for breakfast. Now it's some coffee and trying to get things done today at work. Got to try and be an adult today and be all managery and stuff with some adults who are acting like children. Yeah. We'll see how that goes. Some days I still feel like a kid "playing" manager!! Others, like I am head of a daycare...amazing how childish adults can be :) I suppose I'll get used to it eventually!

Hope you all had a great weekend and you have a most excellent day.

2 hours is a long time for a movie, but...

New record. Up until 5 to finish what I had to for today.
Nothing like 2 hours of sleep.

Oh lordy...

references are boring

Up until 2 fighting with referencing software. So. Slow. I have over 200, so it's slow slogging.
So I slept in until 6:30 for my own sanity. No workout, which is too bad, but if the weather is nice I'm going to walk home - a good 40 minute walk would do me good. I have 2 managery meetings today so falling asleep at work is not an option. I have to be alert. Perky even. Wish me luck :)
I will finish this thesis.
Oh yes.


Despite my giving in to bacon heaven snackery last night and being up until 1 I know workout sgive me I got up at 6:20 and did the My bodyrocks BRTV workout + ab bonus. ~16 minute workout. Had me sweating and I feel like I've put in some time today and can take on the rest of the day with a smile.
Got lots of work done last night and have more to come every night this week...Final edit done on first half. Tonight is final edit on figures and legends and (if my other supervisor get off her ass and gets back to me) section 3. Tomorrow bibliography.
Then it's tweak up the final section and let my second supervisor look at it over the weekend. I'd hoped to have it all completed but my second supervisor is NOT meeting her proposed deadlines.

But...soon I will finish.
NO really.
How cool is that?


curse you bacon!

Right when I discover my groove again...I also discovered bacon flavoured microwave popcorn.

Heh...Lets just say I will not be buying it again for my own safety. :)
Damn that stuff is good. Especially in the middle of a long night of nitpicky editing...

nom nom nom...



Not too bad. 34:45 for my 5K run yesterday. My feet are still sore on the large blister on the arch of each foot, but I'll live. I've just got fluffy socks on today. I'm not too stiff either, surprisingly. Seeing as I did nada last week for fitness, I survived rather unscathed. In a better mood today. The rain has stopped.

This morning I was determined to workout, but not overdo it and hurt myself again. My knee is back to normal and had no issues with my run. Sooo, to warm up I did 50 sumo squats with elbow to knee lifts, 20 pushups with a 10 second plank and 2 sets of 50 leg lifts with hip extensions on each side. Then I hammered out the where have you been bodyrocktv workout. Solid workout. I had to modify a lot of the pushups to knee ones for the last part and I sure was wobbly on the one legged stuff with the monkey pushups, but I pushed myself. It felt good to sweat...there was sweat dripping off my nose when I was done, so I know I worked hard! Protein oatmeal for breaky and I'm in for work.

We shall see what today has in store for me :)


Did the 5K fun run in the pouring rain. Not as much fun as it could have been. Only had to walk about 100m of it, which was good. Discovered my running shoes give me blisters when wet, which was bad. Ow. Had to take a looooong hot shower after to warm up. Turns out, it all made me grumpy.
Came home and grumped at J and altho we eventually went out for breaky, didn't really deserve it with me being grumpface. Not at all the nice morning I had hoped for. Know how sometimes you get grumpy and just say the wrong thing to people who are just trying to be nice and it sort of grumps along? Yeah. That was me - classic foot in mouth.
Trying to salvage the rest of the day by doing some thesis work and making some bread. Hoping to be kinder the rest of the day...feel less meh. Don't want to grump anymore. Roped into supper at my brother's to save my Dad from an entire weekend there trapped with my sister in law. I admit -don't really want to go, but perhaps my grumpface would be best somewhere else for a while...J is staying out of my way so I don't grump anymore. He was supposed to work today but the rain postponed it so he has an out on the supper. Not a totally crummy day...just really meh.
It's rained since friday afternoon and hasn't stopped. It's leaking into our moods...

longest appendix ever

My knee is quasi OK, but I am nervous I will hurt it. And yet...well...I feel bleh. I need something. Think I'll see if J wants to go for a long walk tomorrow after work.
I'm am up at stupid o'clock again, just having finished my appendices on my thesis (seriously the most boring thing ever. You have to list every little thing you used - all the machines and chemicals and where it came from and how you made it into a solution and what computer programs you used. Gah. So tedious....)
I am experiencing my body weight is the same, but I can feel my muscles shrinking as I sit here! Listen! Can't you hear them? :)
 Oh I know I'm being melodramatic, but I was getting hyped about summer and looking at last summer's photos...and damn I was doing well then. I have a month until I head to a festival where I will have my only shot at bathing suits for the year, so I want to make sure I'm not throwing away the muscles I worked so hard for all winter. I've been working hard to make muscle tone...I'm definitely getting back to it. I have plans baby. Plans. bikini's ON. Besides...I don't want to lose my ability to do pushups like I could before...they make me feel all amazon :)

I signed up for a 5K fun run ages ago for this sunday AM so there is that, and I hope to do a ZWOW on saturday. That... and stop snacking. When I work on the computer lately, it is SO hard no not nibble away. I tried buying healthy snacks instead, but grapes are only healthy when you don't eat the whole bag at one sitting. :) I made some rhubarb muffins...and I am staring at them. I could seriously demolish another before I go to bed...I think that's what I like about working out - it gives me leeway to have a muffin or the odd thing and not be so attentive to what I eat. It's a lot closer when there's no metabolism burn start up in the morning...

Ah well. Nothing else for it -I'm on it. I want to be back where I was before I left for holidays before I go on more holidays. He heh.
I'm not going to go nutso. If I do, I'll just hurt myself again. Right now - my thesis is THE priority of life, so this week - sleep won out. But, next week, I'll be at the point (knock on wood) where I can really get back to it as I'm actually at the reading things over stage now, until I get my reviews back from my supervisors. And it's the weekend. I can actually sleep in a bit this one - no insane list of chores or family visits this time. Just some housework and mowing the lawn...DEFINITELY doable.

For now, I need to get my tired butt to bed. TIme to get up in 6 hours and get to work :)

Microsoft can bite my arse

Yeah. Knee still twingy. Slept in after being up until 1. Not all gloomy though - I had some compan towards the end, since J had some of his music show volunteer crew over and out on the deck after his weekly shoot - it was nice to have people about as I edited. They're all great people...hearing laughter in the house always makes me smile. They were still enjoying themselves when I went to bed.

Spent the day fighting with Microsoft Word. Literally. There was yelling. Yes, Formatting, she is a bitch. And it is a she - no man could be this complicated! Particularly ranty with the new Word 2011...where everything is arbitrarily moved, it would seem. And, to do things I must first find them!! BUT, I am getting there. Sections 3 of 4 revised. Waiting for feedback on the last section and putting together all the supplemental appendices and such. It is coming. Lordy it's slow, but it's coming...

Soon my minions. Soon...

Mt. Thesis

Slept in again today. Knee almost better. I am hopeful. I do feel guilty not working out, but really I am finding that in this crunch time of hard work, I am needing the sleep. I am quite sane, all things considered. And the crunch is yet to come. I hope to go up to the lake on the long weekend in July, and hope to be done the thesis for my committee before then, as I have the second weekend in July booked off for my only festival of the summer with J. So I am trying to not wig out at the enormity of the reality of the deadlines and just keep working.
Poor J seems very sad and resigned lately about me working hard. I think he felt me handing in my thesis draft meant I was done. He has no idea the nitpick details that remain and it drives me crazy when he asks me "when will you be done?" because I don't exactly know. I just hope. Unfortunately it's revise revise revise, and altho I'm on the final section revisions, there are still a lot of nitpicky things...and I have this month to finish. And my other supervisor is still looking at my sections too. *sigh* It's just takes time.

Also,  I just learned my proposed external examiner was in a car accident, so that really doesn't help. I am selfishly hoping she will feel up to being the reviewer and be able to let me defend by the end of August, but really...still don't know. Dont' know if she can and the university is rather backward about not setting an official defense date even with an examiner is arranged until my thesis is in and past my committee. needs to get to them so it can go out to her. I know if it gets past my two supervisors then it will be good... I picked experts to be on my committee, so I know they'll have comments. And they'll be valid ones. I want this to be good.
SO many little nitpicky's so NOT my thing. The whole "this word would work better that that one" and "you used the wrong antecedent here" business is giving me brain hives! But...I continue. I work hard. This is my first real attempt at technical writing, and I am grateful for all the help and revision. I just wish it could be done. It's tough to edit your own stuff. I do not have the skills...

Patience grasshopper.

family hangover

Had a great weekend of family visiting. Got to see my cute little grand nephew (who is the happiest kid ever) and visit with my sister and dad. My husband was a saint and helped with everything and let me just relax and be with my family. Now, the house is strangely quiet and after a sunday of thesis work, if it weren't for the forgotten baby pants in the spare room and tonne of photos on my camera I might doubt they were ever here. I have some wine leftover. Giggedy.

I think I am developing some kind of food sensitivity tho. For satuday I brought two salads to the BBQ at my brothers: strawberry almond feta tossed salad and a quinoa salad with veg and beans and a lime vinaigrette. That evening and last night after having the salads for supper my stomach was in knots and I felt pained and bloated...I have never reacted that way before to either salads and J was fine so I'm not sure what was up. It is similar to digestive issues I used to have before I started eating clean. It was bad enough that instead of being my lunch today they are both in the garbage. Bleh. I seem to be the only one effected so I'll have to see how I feel next time I have quinoa. I like Quinoa, so I hope it's not that...but we shall see. All I know is I had Red River cereal and fruit for breakfast and have no desire to eat anything remotely unhealthy for a while...

My knee (grrr) is still not entirely back to normal, so I'm growing impatient. Given how awful I felt last night I slept in and woke up before my alarm this AM. I didn't workout since my knee still isn't top form, but tomorrow I'm going in no matter what...I refuse to get completely out of shape waiting for my knee to recover. There has to be lots of things I can do to work around it. Once it stop hurting I can do the physio exercises that will help it...just must be patient.
I'm not good at patient.


Another late night of errands and cleaning and bit of thesis work. (not enough, but some) and the house is ready for my family invasion. My knee is feeling slightly better but still aches so I did not workout again today - hope to be back at it monday. I slept in and had a nice hot shower and some protein oatmeal and a banana for breaky and am in for work, trying to focus until I can head home and spend lots of time with my family. My whole family. Meep. :)
I hate that I'll likely have to hide for 2 or 3 hours on saturday and work on my thesis as I have to hand in my edited final section on monday (and work on it all sunday after they leave...*sigh*), but I really can't wait to see my family for a few days. They are here until sunday when they go up to visit dad for a week at the lake. I wish I could get away to be up at the lake with them, but I am so glad to see my sister and her whole family even for a little bit. They live in Ontario and last time we were all together was Mum's memorial almost 2 years ago. I look forward to much more laughter and smiles. My sis and her hubby look after 4 foster kids and this is their first family holiday in almost two years, and maybe the last one with all the kids together, since my niece and nephew are in their 20s now (wow my sis is 10 years older than me but that made me feel OLD to write!) My gorgeous niece is in university now and my nephew is a new dad - and I get to meet my little great nephew tonight!
Man, I am SO excited. I've grabbed some wine and I'm hoping they'll all fit in our house! I am looking forward to an evening of visiting in the house and sitting out on the deck. No real plans yet, just visiting. I admit, I am determined that not even my brother's wife (who is an emotional handful and can be very challenging, especially if things don't go her way or aren't planned to the minutia) will interfere with the weekend. I can't wait to get home!! :)
Hope you all have a great weekend!