Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Empresses new clothes

Been thinking over my coffee break and had to writ e this down before it slipped away.
Thing is, it's kinda cool...this spring when I was feeling thin and sexy after working out a lot I went shopping and got 4 pairs of jeans...ones that fit. I knew I'd need them and being of curvy bottom and tiny waist it's tricky finding pants that don't gap on my waist right now with the low waist styles. They all fit like a glove BUT needed hemming. Then I got stupid busy and never hemmed them...and months later before our Europe trip I got all self deprecating about how I had nothing nice to wear on our trip (and truth be told nearly all my clothes were mostly either too big or worn out completely) so I went out to shop over the next few weeks for some shirts and a skirt and then I remembered the jeans...and after I bit up the nerve to try them on they still fit :) So I hemmed them up. We spent our holidays all spiffed up and snazzy. I wore skirts a lot. I wore accessories. We walked around Paris like we belonged there...and I liked it. I was comfortable...and in clothes I felt comfortable in I was OK being dressed up. I felt good.

Now that I'm home, I really don't want to return to frumptown anymore. I can't wear some skirts in the lab because of safety but that doesn't mean I have to go back to t shirts and plain ratty jeans again. I don't wear a lab coat at home...I feel like need to start acting more like myself (whatever that is) and wear what I like...and if necessary get more things so that I HAVE things to wear again. Maybe it's my brain trying to get a little control of the little things I can work on that's got me focused on this, but I'm realising that I deserve to treat myself to some nice things every once in a while. I'm 35...I think it's OK by now :)

It was cool shopping for clothes and only buying what I loved. Why? Because 90% of it FIT...and fit well. I am still often in the fat mode of buying things just because they fit, not because
I liked it on me. I used to hate shopping because it would be an exercise in frustration. That mindset is hard to turn off...but it was strange that as I shopped for the trip I actually put things back that fit because I didn't ultimately like them on me. Sure they were OK...but not what I wanted. A lot of the current styles are not my thing, so it's tricky. I tried on a LOT of stuff to find the things I loved, but I've learned that if I don't like how things fit me I won't wear it....I'll just look at how nice it is in the closet and put it back and opt for the old standard scruffy slobby clothes.

Europe has really put a bug in my ear or a fire under my butt or whatever euphemism you can use to say that I've started to look at myself differently. I don't know what flipped the switch but it's been flipped, and as it turns out...well...in my mind now I'm kinda cute actually. I can wear fitted clothes and not feel fat. Fitted used to mean "too tight" and I'd fidget or feel fat and uncomfortable even after I shrunk. Now it just means my clothes fit and altho I'm not perfect I don't have weird bulges or wibbles...just a bit of jiggle on what is mostly a rather nice me if I do say so myself. I'm OK.

It's so weird reformatting your brain...it's like a reboot. A cold start...but I'm warming up to it. Hopefully it sticks :)

Step one

This week I'm training myself to get up earlier. I got up 30 minutes earlier today.
I had to catch the bus, so I couldn't work out (that requires 1 hour earlier), but I'm getting there...really slowly I'm adding 5 minutes a day for the rest of the week and then I'll be up at 5:30 instead of 6:30...with workout time.
So, theoretically, next week I'll be up an hour earlier...and then I can workout in that time. Bit by bit I'll fit exercise in my day if it kills me.

Yeah. That's it...

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Getting there...

Feeling slightly better. Still coughing and all that, but I don't feel as though I might die if I don't sleep for a week, so I'll take it. My lungs and asthma will likely take a few more days before I'm back to normal, but it's a start. I can see the end of it.
I'm trying to figure out how to fit in workouts into my routine once I start classes - you see I've calculated that to make up for my missed work time due to classes I have to take in this semester, I have to stay an hour and a half late every day...on top of the hour I'm already staying and the saturdays for my actual research for my MSc. Somewhere in there is a workout, ideally 5 a week. I'm toying with swimming a few days a week. An old friend of mine has taken it up and loves it and I have free pool access as long as I'm a student.
I suppose I can also do my ball VD or 30 minutes on the elliptical as well. It's not perfect, but I"ll be damned if I let life turn me into a couch potato...

Any suggestions on 30 minute workouts I can fit into my day??

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

sick days

I am now quite sick as a dog.
Wachoo.
Talk amongst yourselves. I'll be back soon...

Monday, August 23, 2010

Whoops. Has it been that long?

Oh dear, has it really been that long?

Sorry guys.
I can honestly say I've been busy beyond belief, both with work, my MSc and we just took an incredible 10 year anniversary holiday to Europe to England and France...and the food there? DELICIOUS! Other than an odd fascination with weird potato chip flavours, on the whole we ate very well there. More wine and pints than normal, but we were quite healthy and enjoyed ourselves very much. We got to visit an old friend I haven't seen in years and see Paris. Ah....

And, after my close friend's lovely wedding on this weekend I'm switching back to "normal" life now. Which, sadly, is a bit busy and boring and blah after all this, but I suppose I will figure it out again...I do love my life for the most part and I do feel the need to be back into a bit of a routine again. I feel like a hyper kid on too much sugar in a room of shiny things going "ooh what's that!", "Ooh what's that!" all the time. I want cups of tea and books. I have a feeling spare time will be a rarity in the next semester...I'm giving myself this week to get my house a bit organised and prep for the madness...

And workouts? Well we did walk an average of about 30 K a day on holidays and before then there was much walking and biking as a part of my days, but I'm craving Ye Olde Regular workouts. My knee has been fine since I gave it a bit of a rest after it's latest twinge and it only started to protest on the last day of our epic walking trip around the UK and Paris, so I am pretty confident I can get back into things easily. As much as I adore sleeping in and actually having an hour with my husband in the evening instead of falling asleep around 9:30, soon my 2 classes will start on top of everything else with my MSc and job (gak) so I need the stress release and rush of working out to keep me sane. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do and when and go from there - I hope i can stick with bellydance classes Thursdays still, and add in 3 cardio workouts during the week. I've had Gillian's 30 day shred recommended to me by a good friend so I may bite the bullet and try it...and make friends with the elliptical again.

September is when it all begins ...who's coming with me on the crazy train? :)