Friday, January 29, 2010

Confucious say: person who can’t throw food away doesn’t mind it going to waist.

Friday is here.
Yesterday was nice actually...spent some time with Dad.
Today is run around and get electrical permits (grrr...$200 stupid dollars...grr...) for all the work Dad is going to do in our kitchen and electrical and then tomorrow is buy all the stuff we're putting in our kitchen over the next while. There's a home reno tax credit that only applies to materials bought up until the end of tomorrow. Heh...I forgot and left it as we were going to do all this in December before Mom got very sick-so I'm going to run about to get all the materials tomorrow to meet the deadline. Seeing as we're going to do all the work anyways, we might as well get the 15% back from all the materials. Yeah. Why not?
This weekend (even tho I should really be working on my MSc) I will be doing all that and then packing up my whole kitchen, and making a makeshift kitchen in the living room so Dad can start all the electrical, plumbing and tiling and all that jazz in our kitchen. The gas dude will run the line for my new (meep) gas stove and then we'll put it all back together with a new countertop, tile backsplash, faucet and range hood.
So...kitchenless for a few weeks...should be interesting, but it's been a long wait so I'm glad to be finally at it. I'm thinking that between my microwave, toaster oven, electric wok, slowcooker(and if I must, camping stove) we can get by until things are back together. It's been a LONG time coming. Bring it on.
It's nice to have something to look forward to. Hopefully it all comes in at budget. The permit cost was a bit of a surprise, but Dad decided to add a subpanel because our box is full, and doing a bunch of rewiring means a lot of other stuff...plus I like having functional house insurance, so what can ya do? I'm just glad Dad can do all the labour for us, with us as his assistants/slaves...

I must be off to work...then the weekend comes.
It's Dad's birthday so we're taking him out for a steak.
AND my knee is bazillions better today. Stiff and clicky but no pain (yet) today. It may be really on the mend. (oh please oh please)
Huzzah.

Later taters. Have a good weekend.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Dad is here

Yesterday was a long long day - lots of work. I had a healthy lunch and supper, but not much as far as workout - my knee really hurts from all the stairs I have to do at work. My Dad arrived and we had supper at my brothers. It's good to see him.

Today after work I'm skipping dance class as Dad wants to go shopping - poor guy. He was complaining about his clothes and so I offered to take him out to buy some clothes in stores I know he'll like and then I can hem them and run through washing instructions for them with him. He's doing OK on his own, but things like this really throw him for a loop...he and Mum used to do all that together and he really didn't pay too much attention to details. He went shopping on his own, got frustrated and came home with clothes he doesn't really like and now feels frumpy and uncomfortable on top of everything else-frustrating. I figure the least I can do is help him feel a bit more comfortable in his own skin for a while, and help him figure out what to look for when he goes next time.
I'm trying to find the balance of doing everything for him and helping him do stuff so he can more easily adjust to things as they are now. My first instinct is to do everything and I know it's not right.
It'll be nice to have him here for a while...I can't imagine what it's like for him. When you marry your best friend and then they're gone? Wow. I know for me it's like she's just going to walk in the room any minute now. It's going to take a long time to get over that feeling.
It's his birthday tomorrow so we're taking him out for supper. His favourite thing is raisin pie...I admit to having no idea how to make it (I *hate* raisin pie - way too sweet) but I'll try and track down a recipe to make him one on the weekend...Mum used to make him one on his birthday. It just seems like the thing to do...

Curiouser and curiouser

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tuesday

Well, this AM I got up and made healthy breakfast and some situps, but then got distracted by some cats and some moping, so when I got back on track that was sort of that for the working out. Not much for it really. My Dad is coming to stay with us for a while tomorrow. It will be good to see him...but Mum's absence will be very obvious. But in my family, we're strongest together and my Dad needs some company right now. So he''s going to come and putter away at our kitchen and stay here until he feels a bit better and ready to be home alone again.
SO yeah...every day is new. I can eat healthy today and go from there. I'm looking forward to teaching my Dad how to cook simple healthy foods so I know he's not living on omelettes :)

Last night I discovered an awesome new way to make spaghetti squash - one of my favourite things. I just cooked it in the microwave as per usual, but before I served it, instead of just adding a bit of butter and salt I sauteed up some red peppers, red onion and some garlic and a bit of bok choy with some italian seasoning and pepper and tossed that in with a bit of butter and mixed it all up together and MAN. BEST side dish ever. I made almond crusted chicken to go with it. Mmmm...

Anyways. I'm daydreaming about food now. Oops. :)
I'll do my best to be healthy today and try and get in the ab challenge put out there over on Fitjerk and tried out by the Great Fitness Experiment. I admit - Ihave been shamed into trying it by Charlotte - if someone who jsut had a baby can do it (and look that amazing to boot) I figure I need to get at it. :)

Have a good day. I will do my best to do the same.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Snow one, Geo zero

Well, according to this AM I only gained 1.5.
Ah well. What can ya do.
I'm not so bothered by that as I am by the fact that I slipped and twisted my knee this morning while wading through the mountains of snow to the bus. I felt a stab and actually said OW!.
Not good. It's officially sore now. There's a ridiculous amount of snow at the moment (transit and work shut down over the weekend - for here, that's huge. It's a whole lotta snow...)
So no working out for a little while I guess...more than a little frustrating. I let off the workouts all weekend to be nice to my knee and it had improved a great deal...but after this Am I think it needs some more love...I'm going to be nice to my knee for a few days and see what happens. I will still do come ab and arm workout stuff in the mornings (the non leg parts of my ball DVD and some other stuff) so I don't feel like I'm doing nothing, but I am not liking the prospect of no cardio for a while. It's freezing and blizzardy at the moment. And I have a few pounds to lose back it would appear...what's a labrat to do?
On the plus side, I learned this morning that part of my graduate tuition fees go towards free use of the athletic centre here on campus...so I might just see what I can do with that next week if the whole knee thing is still an issue. Perhaps I can swim or do some treadmill walking in the AM before work (the elliptical at home hurts the knee at the moment so I'm exnaying it for a bit). You never know. Perhaps I can go all alternative on my knee...
Anyone know any non kneeifying cardio I can do?
I'm really wanting to keep with the fitness...I refuse to let this get in the way of things, but I definitely don't want to make an nice reoccurring injury for myself by not being nice to it so it can heal... *sigh*
Here's hoping it clears up soon.
Have a good day everybody!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

WTF?

Seriously. After a week of working out and trying to eat well I have gained back 2.5 pounds.
Awha?
I'm actually paying attention to what's going into my body, remembering to eat snacks and work out and drink lots of water instead of subsisting on coffee and crackers and cheese and this is what I get?

Boo to you my dear bottom.
Boo diddley boo.

Guess I'll have to be more hard core with food next week. Sure I ate more fruit this week, but seriously. I thought I was trying to keep an eye on comfort eating and did rather well? I can't even imagine where I'd be if I had just let her rip and done whatever. Yes I did eat a bunch of pizza last night for supper (mmm) and I'm hoping that is a major reason and I jsut need to level off a bit or something.
This will teach me to weigh myself before monday.
Here's hoping it goes back down again...

*sigh*

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Day 4 - sigh

Well this morning I thought I'd mix it up a bit and did an old workout DVD I haven't done in a while - my Dance fusion workout DVD. It's a good workout. It really works the muscles with some cardio - strengthens the muscles you need for fluid movement and for dance.

The only annoying thing is the muscle sore on the top of my knee/thigh pretty much prevented me from doing the squat/lunge bits in this workout. Everything else was good - quite a challenge, especially for the arms. It's a good workout-I can tell it's been a while. I really wish I could have done all the bits, but I didn't think, after I did a few and they hurt, that I should push it. *sigh* Frustrating to say the least. I remember doing it and feeling the burn. Hopefully with stretching and some use of the muscle it will work itself out. Otherwise I'll just stop all weekend and see if it stops...I don't want to make it worse, but damn it's frustrating.

Other than that, it's been a busy few days, so despite my tendencies to stare into space a lot, I've found it easier to keep it together...busy mind and all that. My Dad will be here on monday and so I'm going to enjoy the weekend (well the parts I'm not working on my MSc) chilling with J as it may be a long while before we have a weekend in the house to ourselves...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Day 3: Hmmmm

Well I got up this morning and worked out. My left knee (well OK the muscle on the left side of it just above it) is still sore, but I was able to workout on the elliptical at 15% incline and no resistance for 41 minutes and then cool down for 2 minutes. It's still sort of sore, but nothing too bad...yet. I'm hoping it will work itself out. If it gets worse I'll hold back and try and let it heal - whatever it is. Here's hoping it is nothing much. I'll be very frustrated if I can't work out for a while - it sure helps with my moods. I also had a nice healthy breakfast. You guessed it - oatmeal and blueberries. What else? :)
Yesterday was a good day. I gave in and air popped some popcorn, but other than that we ate healthy. If someone had told me years ago that I would have curried egg salad sandwiches and apple wedges for supper and love it I would have laughed my butt off. But I did last night and YUM. So good. Hopefully today will be another level day...I'm going to visit my brother tonight for supper and visit with him. He's a quiet guy (like Mum) so he might need an ear. It'll be good to see him.
Some of my friends sent us flowers, and since we couldn't have them delivered to home (and had some flowers there already)I had them brought by here at work- and they're so pretty. Tiger lilies and gerbers, my favourites. My lab smells pretty :). I resolve to get myself flowers "just cause" more often. They make you happy just looking at them.

Workout tunes: Chemical Brothers - Come with us

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day 2: Ouch

My left knee is rather sore this morning. I don't know why, but I'll try to be nice to it...I suppose it has been a few weeks off.

I got up and did my Ball DVD this morning. And no, no juice or food before hand and it all went fine :). Despite my knee being a bit sore I did it all and had a good breakfast-oatmeal and blueberries. My fave.

I've got a new challenge for the next while - I know I'm an emotional eater. Food comforts me.
And I now refuse to lose myself in foody comfort as I deal with everything. Last night was a tough evening for some reason, but my amazing husband is here for me. I am going to do my best to eat well and keep the crazy emotional eating to a minimum. I may be drinking a lot of tea over the next while, but I am determined. I know it won't comfort me for more than 5 minutes and I'll be miserable after that. It helps that the amazing people I work with sent us a fruit basket instead of flowers, so there is a lot of healthy munchables if I get weak-willed.

Hugs are better than food.
Definitely.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Day 1: One more time...

Well, I managed to crawl out of bed this morning and worked out. Because I was a bit behind and had a bunch of miscellaneous stuff to do I cut my workout to 35 minutes on the elliptical at 15% incline. It felt nice to workout. I could have gone longer...next time I will. It's been a few weeks and my asthma has been all crazy lately. I didn't want to totally overdo it. Then I had a good breakfast and packed a healthy lunch.
Now comes the rest of the day...the harder part.
Everything is so normal...making it very very, well, wierd.
Makes me wonder who else is wandering around out there with a big hole in their chest and I don't know about it...
I resolve to be kind to everyone today. Just in case they're out there too.

Have a good day all...

Workout tunes: Prodigy - Fat of the Land

Friday, January 15, 2010

Yes please

I'm on a quest for a new workout DVD.
Anyone have any suggestions?
I've seen the Jillian 30 day shred DVD spoken of with winces and nods of approval. I wince at anything TV related, but if it's a good workout, I'd be willing to try it. I want a solid all over workout, not just a half hour of lunges or jumping jacks.

Here's the thing. I just want to get active again after a few weeks off dealing with life. Last few weeks it was all I could do to remind myself to eat well and not live on coffee.
I'm ready.
Last night I picked my mopey butt up and went to bellydance class.
Man, what a good idea...I danced. I laughed.
It felt good.

I want more...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Well then...now what?

It's so quiet now.
I'm back home from my Dad's...Mum's funeral is over and I feel both wooden and peaceful. And tired. It was so great to see all of my family and see so many people I have not seen in years...and Mum's memorial was very sad, but wonderful. She would have loved it. She was a wonderful woman. Sometime when I feel I can, I'll post a bit of a memorial. Right now...its not time yet.
It seems so strange to be back home, and having to just "go back to normal". I'm so glad my Dad is going to come stay with us for a while to work on renovations for our kitchen...then he won't be alone too much at first. It's the hardest part really - seeing your father so devastated. I know he'll be OK eventually. We all will...It warms my heart to know how many people loved her and hear all their kind words...but I'd trade it all to have her back.
I miss her.

And I want to ask all of you out there - please when you run into people on the street, unless you actually care or really want to know PLEASE don't ask them "how are you?" I got that all the time while Mum was sick and after she died. Not only did I not always want to talk about things...but sometimes I could tell they didn't want to know and didn't care, and the last thing they would expect (often not knowing what was going on) would be for me to start sniffling and looking at my feet. It was not concern but just the tacky reduced equivalent of a hello...which when your life is floating away into tiny bits and all you want to do is hug your Mum and you can't is a very hollow experience.
BUT...I will say, all my friends and family have been wonderful. I know that in time I will be OK. I'm strangely peaceful about everything, despite the sadness. I'm so glad I got to say everything I wanted to and just be with her and my family up until the end of it all.I'm just not entirely sure how to get back into life again...it'll be strange.
Thank you, all of you, for your kind thoughts and words. Such compassion from people I've yet to meet in person warms my heart.
I'm taking a break from fitness, although I've tried to look after myself and eat well. As of next week I will do my morning workouts again. I'm ready for that. I'm just not so sure about the rest of life yet. We shall see...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Goodbye Mum



I simply cannot say how much I will miss you...