Learning the difference


This is a huge thing for me at the moment. I often equate thirst and boredom with hunger. I struggle with drinking enough water. I've been getting good at drinking 2 large glasses of water in the AM, but still have to watch that I don't just live on coffee and tea.
This is my challenge for august - to get back in tune with my body. To recognize hunger, and fullness and know when I've had "enough". Having a more relaxed schedule has found me in the kitchen, mucking about, but also just opening the pantry and looking for food. That's silly. I need to eat well. To get enough sleep. It's still going to be a busy month, but I am determined to see it through to the other side...hopefully with a fitter me at the end. And, barring more gong show scheduling, I will be a Master of Science :)

This morning I came in for spin class and sweated it out, followed by three sets of back extensions and hanging ab crunches. Good start to the day.

Here we go!

Boom! It's on.

This weekend wasn't as productive as I'd hoped, but I did get my beer bottled, my wine racked and do a few hours on my thesis speech. I also saw the new Batman movie, in addition to rewatching the previous 2. And I know it sounds cheesy but I was really inspired by Batman. Honest. Not only was the film fantastic...but I came away with something I needed.
Cheesy as it sounds, I came to a realization of how much I was really slacking off and resenting my final speech for my defence which comes up in about a month's time. I've been taking a bit of a rest after submitting my thesis and avoiding the speech by not working hard at it. Yes, I've worked on it a bit, I haven't really put my mind to it. And now...well, I've changed my mind. I have come to see that this defence is the final chance for me to present the last 2 and a half years of my life. It is my own work -my own damn fine work if I do say so myself. And so I will not slack off. I will not insult or neglect the last 2 years of my intense, all out crazy life and insanity by giving in to lethargy and stress. This is important. I must finish strong.
This week I am in beast mode in both body and mind. For my body - solid workouts all week and healthy eating. For my mind - well, I need to really put in the focus and effort it will take to make this speech fantastic. It will not be easy to summarize 100 pages of thesis in 20 minutes or less...but I will do my best to do so. And then I will be able to close this chapter of my life with a smile and a contented nod, knowing I did my best. I can be proud of it and look back without regret at what I've done. Yes, it's hard and I'm tired...but just a little bit longer. Just a bit. I know now I can do it.  :)

I ran across black thai sweet rice and made some of my famous purple rice pudding on the weekend. Oh yum....seriously the best thing ever. I don't make it often because rice pudding is my favourite thing ever ever ever and it's not exactly good for you when you're trying to eat healthy again, but dayum. Tasty.

This morning I came in for sculpt class. The regular girl is away and her replacement, who teaches some other classes is just awesome. I prefer her and wish she'd stay on. The workouts are challenging, but they aren't over the top hard core to the point where it isn't fun. I know I worked my body all over and I feel really good.
I'm excited for  this week. I have plans to do some work clothes shopping in September, so I have a goal to get my butt back into as good a shape as I can...into the shape it was a few months ago with a little hard work and a lot of healthy eating. Consistent workouts. It's the mini goal I need to get back to it so that the clothes I get fit me long term for work and they won't be baggy and frumpy when I tone up again. I know I won't be at my personal best by then, but I will be close. I like having clothes as my scale for how I'm doing and not the scale...because in the last few months I've only gained 4 or 5 pounds but my shape has changed significantly because I've lost muscle. To me its how I feel...how my clothes fit that tells me when I'm off track. Numbers just cloud your mind to how you feel.  I will continue to help myself stay in check. I can do this. I'm strong.

I am Uberfrau.

Oldie but a goodie

This morning my knee (grrr) was a bit stiff after the high tension biking in spin and sculpt yesterday, so I didn't go for a spin class again (I'm learning!). Instead I made up a decent workout for today, and left out the muscle groups worked hard yesterday for a good overall 1 hour work out. Included the physio exercises to restrengthen my knee. It was kind of a mishmash of my old workouts oh so long ago...only with lower weights...it's amazing how quickly you lose strength when you take time off.

3 sets of:
13 standing back rows - 10 Lb dumbells
13 shoulder press-10 Lb dumbells
13 T raises to the side - 8 Lb dumbells
13 chest flys-10 Lb dumbells
15 one legged deadlifts (each side) -10Lb dumbells
12 leg extensions (40Lb)

2 sets on the hip flexor machine, with 90Lb on it of:
15 leg presses out to the side
20 thigh presses inwards

Then, 20 walking lunges with ab twists - 10 Lb dumbell
20 one legged bulgarian squats  (each side)- no extra weight.

Then - 25 minutes on the elliptical plus my abfest (minus the bicycle crunches). A nice stretch and I'm in for work...Whew!!

Glad it's friday...last night went to see a friend play at the pub and then snuck out as soon as his set was done and came home to bed. How dull :) I  needed the sleep though.
This weekend I plan to work on my speech, bottle my IPA and rack my wine.
Anything else is bonus :)

Apprehensive

Last night I tried to get a lot done, but didn't really. After endless errands I started the basic layout of my speech...and got a bit freaked out because it's a lot to talk about in 20 minutes. I'll pick away at it slowly. It will come. I had to hunt down info we need for a few appointments today (our mortgage is due again soon) and by the time I prepped for today I was done. Late bedtime  = tired me. But, I came in for spin and sculpt and had a good workout. It still frustrates me how much strength I lost in 2 months, but it will come.
Time to get some work done. I have to leave early for appointments so I've got to get to it.
Later taters. :)

It's on

Quick post. Lots to do today.
Came in for boot camp this morning.  My favourite old instructor was filling in and it was awesome but challenging.
But, must dash -it's time to put on my manager hat and get to it. I'm wearing my new shoes and some dress pants. Oh yes. It's on. :)
Later taters.

Engage!

Ah. Last night was fun. To celebrate the remastered blue ray release of the first season of Star Trek:TNG they showed a few remastered episodes at the local theatre. J and I went and felt like teenage geeks. It was fun :) I wasn't the only girl there! And apparently they're playing Wrath of Kahn next monday. I'm in :)

Again with the pasta hunger tho. I made some tortellini for supper after work and was sorely tempted by popcorn at the theatre even tho we'd just eaten, but thankfully J reminded me of my pasta frenzy so I declined...then the show started and I forgot. Ah my lovely carb muddled brain... :)
J has been a good supporter in my trying to get back to regular exercise. This AM as we lay snuggly I was sorely tempted to stay in bed instead of getting up to workout, and he encouraged me to go because he knew I'd feel better after. And he was right. I did...spin class was good this morning with much sweating and panting and now I'm in for work and ready to go. Much managery work this week. Trying to keep my brain focused and get work done, although this evening I'm hoping J and I can finally go and see Brave in the theatre. We'll see. Right now it's a real mental adjustment to having more time. I'm trying to find balance...working out without the craziness. Healthy breakfast and good lunch. It will come. :)

over so soon?

This weekend was nice. I got caught up on a lot of chores in and out of the house and still managed to relax thoroughly. I hit up the farmer's market, had some lovely local wine, and got to hang out with a few friends I have not seen in months. Add to that a good meeting with my supervisor to plan out my thesis defense speech and I must say - go me. I spent the weekend eating oven roasted balsamic veggies and fish and it was yummy. I didn't work out in the traditional sense but I did do about 8 solid hours of yard work as well as the same of house cleaning and the like. I had a plan for a run on sunday but it was obscenely hot and muggy. So muggy that I had trouble sleeping last night, even with the AC on...*that* kind of yucky weather. Bleh.
J got home late and by the time he unloaded his gear it was midnight and I didn't really solidly get to sleep until 1ish. So needless to say I did not get up at 5 to workout. I will tomorrow. I missed J but I filled my weekend up and he was back before I knew it.
Hope your weekend was a good one. :)

Sleepytime

Last night, after a visit to my brother, I spent all evening int he yard pulling weeds and trimming hedges and trees until 10:15 when the sun went down. I was exhausted. Filled a whole bin with weeds and branches. Phew!
I actually slept in this AM instead of working out, as I woke up with a headache and was just exhausted. The hour of sleep did me a world of good, so I'm just gonna work out tomorrow instead and call it even :)
Have a great weekend all! I'm going to try and see my friend Heather, stop by the farmer's market and just generally have a relaxing time...

So quiet

J is off at Ness Creek music festival with some friends and I am home. I have meetings with supervisors this weekend but there is no reason he can't get away and have fun with people. They headed out last night, so I am adjusting to being in a quiet house. I miss him, but I'm glad he can get away. He's had to put up with a lot of cancelled or forgone events this summer because of me and I'm glad he can get away for this. It's oddly quiet but I think I like it.
Last night I spent a bit of time on the yard and the house and I'll do some more of that tonight to finish it up- it's been neglected in favour of school lately, so it needs it. Plus that way on the weekend I can really relax and do whatever with no nagging feelings from looking around seeing things I should really be doing (I'm weird that way). It's amazing how much I can get done with no distractions  :)

This morning I came in for a spin and sculpt class. It was tough after yesterday's thorough ass-kicking, but I did it and I'm glad. Solid workout and now a busy day. I've got to put on my adult manager hat today and convince people to work together so we can get things done.

whew

Went in for boot camp class this morning to burn off some stress.
Oh lordy. I survived it...but wow. Intense.

It certainly accomplished what I'd wanted.

Blue language ahead

Came in for spin class today.
I am woefully out of shape. I barely survived and was dripping sweat.

I'm glad i came in tho - needed it.

Today is a stressor of a day.
While I am happy to say that of a few minutes ago my thesis is officially submitted to the university (YAY), I also just learned that my defense date which was just officially set for Aug 27 ("no really honest for real at this time for certain" they said) is now back in limbo again because the NEW committee member added to replace the old one who retired and can't come is unavailable on that day. So it will be on another day. But the external can only be on that day. So it will be...Sometime. Hopefully when the external can come. Or they have to find another external reviewer. You know, just pick a national expert out of the air who happens to be free in the next 3 weeks to read and critique a whole 100 page thesis. No biggie.

GARGH.

Seriously?
Seriously.

Noone else has had to put up with this fucking gong show with their defense. Why am I so special? I just want to defend and be done. I'm finished. I did my part, other than my oral defense, I am done.

It had better bloody well be by the end of august or I will scream bloody murder and write a letter to the university. I can't bloody well plan my life when I don't know when my defense will be. I worked my ass off ot the edge of sanity to meet my rediculous deadlines so I could defend in time.
I will NOT pay for another semester of school AND graduate in June instead of October for no damn reason.

ARGH. I'm so sick of this bullshit.
Ironically, I just toasted the end of all this bullshit with J last night. I just told my whole family when I'd defend and when I'd graduate.

I should have known better...

rainy lazy weekend

It poured rain yesterday all day. I had my last day of indulgence and got it thoroughly out of my system. Lately I've been off the wagon health wise and this weekend I tried to get it out of my system with a few indulgences here and there. There was red ale and potato chips. Pancakes. Scones. Pizza. (I know I know. I'm not proud...) I'm sure I am a good 8-10 Lb heavier overall from my uberbest back in April, and I've lost some muscle, but now that the thesis is pretty much submitted and I get to sleep like a normal human again (hooray!) as of this morning I am jumping back into it all. I wanted a last few days of relaxing nibbling hurrahs to get it out of my system. I made homemade focaccia and pesto pasta yesterday...and altho it was nummy I was reminded why I don't eat pasta much anymore. After a huge plate of pasta and bread i was still starving. That is messed up. I am that way with carbs. I need a mix of protein and veg based carbs or I just want to keep eating and never feel full. It's weird.

I also started up some IPA and 3 gallons of blueberry wine (mushing 8Lb of blueberries is hard!!) this weekend and spent a whole weekend with no thesis. It was weird. Very weird. Today I get the official sign off on all the committee comments I received back (Which were few and well directed...I did good :)  ) and send my thesis to the external reviewer tomorrow. Then I wait until my defence the last weekend of august and prep for my speech and defence. I am finding it very hard ot accept mentally that yes indeed...I will finish! Sure I'm not done yet, but things are really winding down. For realz. Wowzers. It's why I ended up making wine on saturday...because I wasn't sure how to relax. I've wanted to start up some wine for ages and blueberries were on sale...and well, just because I could. Here's hoping it turns out.

Me hee.

This morning I got up at 5:30 (ergh) for the first time in ages and came in to the gym. I joined the sculpt class and although it wasn't a really tough workout, it was for me. Overall, good toning and a good start back after all my slackitude. A protein shake and some yogurt and granola for breaky and I'm off for the day. avacado and veggie supersalad for lunch. Oh yes...I'm back baby! It's a full day of managerial stuffs today and I'm feeling soooo very ready for it.

:)

Rain rain go away...

St Swithun's day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St Swithun's day if thou be fair
For forty days 'twill rain nae mare

Hot hot heat

Hot.
It's hot and humid here still and likely will be for a while yet.
Last night we snuck out to see the new Spiderman movie to beat the heat.
Phew.
It was good...some of the little science things were way off...but it was entertaining. I always crack up at the little scientific inaccuracies in films where they try so hard to be scientific...

Slept poorly . Woke up to both cats walking all over me trying to wake me up.
This morning had oatmeal and cherries for breakfast. Lunch is taco salad. Supper is likely BBQ something and a nap :) How I can be so tired while doing very little is frustrating. The heat can really get to you.
Oh well. It's supposed to cool off by the weekend.
Courage.

Not long enough

Nice weekend away that was.
We returned to the mother of all heat waves. And it's HUMID. On the prairies we don't get that much...blech. We're wired for dry heat and this 39 degrees C with the humidex? Well, lets just say I'm glad I have AC...it's simply too hot for words right now. Last night was salad for supper...couldn't think of anything else...

While camping it was this hot one day...and we just hid under our shade tarp and drank beer. The nights were nice though.

The weekend away was lovely but far too short. I got to see many old friends and relax a lot. I have become most jiggly indeed and have decided that next week is back to major workouts again. This week I'm getting my schedule back to normal and cleaning up my food act...and soon will be back to it. I'm very VERY lacking in shape at the moment...and this heat is NOT helping. It's my one week reprieve with no thesis work before i get my review comments back to incorporate as I am relaxing and just trying not to melt.

I must be off. Much work to catch up on.
HAve a great day in the shade :)

It's been a long time coming...

My thesis is in to my advisors for review...

Hot damn.
:)

I'm heading out camping for a few days to recoup.
Later taters.