Friday, May 20, 2016

Gone fishing

Heading up to visit my dad this weekend for the May long weekend. I can't wait. My sister and her husband will be there as well. J can't come, and I will miss him, but I could really use a mini holiday and a visit with my family. Hope to get in some fishing and lots of card games with some wine and sunshine at the lake. Hope you all have a great weekend :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

coccoons r us

Heh...I woke up in the middle of the night tugging on my bedsheet with all of my might and trying to roll over...much to the incredible annoyance of J. Apparently for about a minute I was trying to keep all the sheet to myself and coccoon up in it and no matter how hard he pulled I agressively pulled back and kept tugging. I had no memory of this until I woke after a particularly hard tug to find myself pulling the sheets around me aggressively and it took a minute or two before I woke up...then I had to convince him I was not being an asshat and was doing that in my sleep. Apparently I really wanted the sheet all to myself...

Heh. Oops. 

Monday, May 16, 2016

Perky. That's me...

On the weekend, while in the middle of doing something I came to the happy realization that I don't hurt anymore. Well OK if I were to biff myself in the boob it would bloody well sting still, but average everyday stuff is OK now. With my doc's OK I switched from an underwire bra which was pretty damn painful to a few good sports bras and that has made a huge difference in how I feel. The incision in the fold at the bottom of my breast is much happier now. Now I just have to wait for the incisions to heal up and not be all dry and scabby and stuff...and not lift heavy stuff for another few weeks....but that's no biggie.
I am pleased tho - the swelling has gone down on my breast that was lifted to match and they're pretty similar in size (and direction lol) now. It'll do pig. It'll do...I've been spending far too much time lately staring at my chest, truth be told.

Some old friends and 2 of their friends came down to stay with us for a roller derby tournament this weekend. J has known Ken since elementary school and he's been through so much truly hideous and crazy serious life shit and come out the other side finally. It is so good to see the real him again...healthy and happy and with someone who is a great person who supports him. We got in a little roller derby watching as a bonus which was cool. Seeing old friends is always a wonderful thing. It was a nice relaxing weekend. J didn't work most of it for once...which is rare. I got out with friends to hear some great music (and try not to dance too much) and have a good beer and just enjoy myself too. Good stuff.

It was cool to just catch up on things and relax and feel human. The thing about being slightly sedated or recovering is you can't just relax...I was always focused on my pain, or unable to concentrate and groggy and I dont' know just how pleasant a person I was to be around...annoyingly vague and babbly I suspect. I have started walking to work again and it's lovely. My steps back to life. In another week I can hop on the exercise bike and do some squats and lunges in the morning and in 3 weeks I can start running again on a couch to 5K program and get in some upper body weights again. I've put on about 10 Lb during all this recon business and I'd like to slowly get that off...but you don't restrict calories when you're healing - that's just dumb.

I finally feel like I will be healed some day. And that is absolutely fabulous. :)

Friday, May 6, 2016

so far so good

It's been a long week, but I'm feeling better every day. I'm down to having an advil here and there and I can raise my arms over my head now (can I get a woohoo?). I can touch myself (ahem) without wincing and I think in another week I'll be OK to remove the padding I have in the damn underwire bras I have to wear all the time so they don't rub and hurt my incisions. Right now my lifted breast looks bigger than the one they built I am hoping it is swollen and will recede a bit. In clothes they look about the same, so I suppose that's the main thing. I have a check-up appointment with my surgeon on tuesday so he'll give me the low down.

I've decided to head out to a cabin with some friends this weekend and relax. There's going to be a mini outdoor party with DJs and some nice people, some of whom I know and the weather here has been beautiful lately (actually too hot for the season - 30C is not spring weather). It's supposed to be mid 20s all weekend, so it'll be a bice time to be outside. I wasn't sure if I'd feel up to it, but I know I'll be OK now. I will have to be social all weekend (psyching myself up as we speak) since J will be working for a large part of it, but even though I can't dance, I anticipate I'll likely have to crash early anyways most evenings what with me recovering and all so I hope I'll be alright. There's having fun and then there's stupid...balance. I think I can pull it off. Part of me just wants to crawl under the duvet all weekend, but I think this would be better for me. I hope it's the right choice. People are exhausting sometimes. I have a ride up there and back with someone so I don't have to worry too much about it.

I'm tired but happy...I can tell I miss J a lot...I've been listening to audio books just to have another voice around. I listened to all of Amy Poehler's Yes Please this week and thoroughly enjoyed it - it's a well put together audio book with lots of made me laugh out loud on more than on occasion and I'm sure the people on the bus are certain I'm a loony. Next is Samantha Bee's book I Know I am But What Are You. And I have some podcasts to catch up on.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016


So far so good. The surgery went very well. Things look remarkably good. I now "match" and the girls look very perky indeed. Other than a lack of nipple on one side I'm balanced and back to my new normal. I just have to heal up.

more opiates please

Sadly, I am no longer on the fun painkillers that make me not care that I am in pain...and am back at work mumbling into my tea, but things are slowly coming along. In a few weeks I should be relatively pain free if I look after myself. Compared to last time it's really not too bad at all actually...I went to the comic expo on the weekend with friends and enjoyed myself - it's a great place to be when you're heavily medicated. I had a great visit with my sister and my friends...and now I'm home and having to be boring and work and stuff. J is away for a week working so I can whinge and moan and be annoying and heal up at my own pace...just have to work to keep the cats from sitting on my chest and all is well.

Just wanted to pop in and say hi, and that I'm OK. 

Soon I'll be back in business...
I know right? Now you can't think of anything else...

Thursday, April 21, 2016

small talk

I am proud of myself. I'm volunteering at an event on saturday (party with DJs and fine people) and JJ is away for 4 days so I was on my own. I went to the crew meet up at the local brewery last night and managed to talk to people and hold conversations and not just stare at people drooling or make them uncomfortable from my lack of social skills he heh. I even cracked the wise a few times. They weren't uncomfortable when they found out why I was having surgery monday. Just nice people. Hooray. I need to stop with the social anxiety and get out more. Practice makes...well not sucking at least.

There's hope for me yet.

Prairie Sun brewery is a neat little place. They've got a small pub in the front of their brewery where they make about 8 kinds of really nice beer with a few seasonals that really sing (they have a chocolate porter right now that's divine) and also serve a few pubby foods (slider burgers, pizza and the like). They're sponsoring the party on saturday so we got some free nibbles while we planned our attack for the evening. I tried out some brews and took a growler of nice ale home for tomorrow night for a BBQ out at a friend's place so I am happy about that. I plan to be back to refill it often.

I am most happy though that I was able to be out and about as me. To interact with help talk and plan things. On my own. It's like coming out of a cave and blinking in the sunlight...when you haven't been social for a long time you almost forget how to. It was a bit scary but it wasn't exhausting...just fun. It looks like good crew of people and I'm looking forward to saturday. One last proper ass jiggling before I go under the knife one last time. I'm hoping I'll be up to a night of dancing by then.

Just 2 more days of work and I'm off for a week. I need a break. Yes it's a surgery but I'll take it...

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

wednesday waiting

Trying to get healthy for monday. So far I only have a sinus thing going on. Likely mostly allergies. It's an unusually early spring this year with lots of leaf and snow mold...and they're doing the street sweeping...and there was a fire at a city tire yard last night which didn't help with the air quality. I'm still doing all I can to boost my immune system so I stay like I am. I can deal with a bit of a stuffed head and it won't put off my surgery.
Thank frog.
When I started getting a tickle in my throat and a stuffed up head on friday I was quite surprised at just how visceral a reaction I had to the thought of having to postpone my surgery. It would be a very bad thing for me. Oh yes, I'd deal...but I don't want to. So I'm in defense mode. Lots of rest and many concoctions to boost my system. All my concoctions of ginger, cloves, fresh lemon and honey seem to be helping. I was adding turmeric but by gawd it tasted awful, so I've just taken to cooking with it and leaving it at that. I've had rum with lemon and honey and hot water (and in diet coke ahem) as well...just in case :P. I've  tried to use as much fresh garlic as I can lately, and eating a few cloves a day. I've even grabbed out my humidifier to use in the bedroom and it's really helping me sleep - I'll definitely keep it out. I've even been having lots of protein every day this week on the recommendation of my doc to help healing afterwards. I've not been exercising as much as I'd like since I'm a bit beat down, but I have been doing my physio. I'd rather not push myself and get sicker...

And so...I've been diddling through this week. Slow week at work and at h ome. Trying not to think about surgery while thinking about surgery (sigh). Doing some chores around the house. The only downside to this allergy thing is our yard desperately needs to be raked - it snowed in the fall before I could get out all the leaves and our front and back yard look terrible. Everyone is out puttering in their yards and I'd like to get the yard ready before my surgery since I won't be able to do anything like raking for about 4-6 weeks after so it will just have to wait or my allergies will go ballistic. Why doesn't J do it you ask? Oh har har...darling no. Just no. As the duties of life have been divided up it has been decided that for the most part J doesn't do yardwork without a pitchfork pointed at him...and to be fair, honestly I enjoy doing most of it so he usually doesn't have to. He doesn't see it as a priority, whereas me I like to keep the leaf mold and other weedy stuff to a minimum. Plus I just like working outside.

As such, we'll see...we may be "that house" this year until I recover a bit. I am hoping that we can get the front yard redone this summer so it won't matter. I need to get on that...Once this surgery is over then I will be able to push past it into life again. So much of the last few years has been dictated by medical appointments and things out of my control and it will be scary but liberating to just be able to do whatever the hell we wish again (well within reason and work and such of course).

Hope you're having a good hump day. So far I am.