Sunday, March 1, 2015

Colds, Caffeine and Cuteness

Well, I've had a frog in my throat for about a week and it's finally blossomed into a proper head cold. Cuz, you know, I was going to start working out hard core on monday so naturally this will help.
Ah well. I'll ease into it…when I'm not sleeping. If I'm still coughing up a storm I may take a day off work and not give it to everyone else around me there (like a lot of them did to me, ahem).

I am currently trying to revise a scientific paper based on my thesis - the first of a few. I am also keeping an eye on the kitten. She was spayed on wednesday and the's not supposed to play or jump for a week…which is quite well nigh impossible, but I'm trying. She's a little ball of energy and love and it's tricky keeping her calm. We keep her in the spare room if we're out so she doesn't play with Dax and risk opening her stitches and we have her sleep in the bedroom with us at night for the same reasons. Dax is confused as to why the cat trees are tipped over to keep her from climbing up them. I'll be glad when the 7-10 days is up and she can go back to normal again. She has been healing up very well, so I am sure she will be fine. JJ was worried about her…after losing Gavin it was hard not to worry about her, but our vet is fantastic and all is well.

The vet tech misspelled the kitten's name on her file and now I can't help but change the spelling a bit more to make it fit her better. Widget is Widjette from now on when I write it out. Same name, but better spelling…like a a girl ninja widgetty ninjette. Only…cuter….god help me I'm a crazy cat lady aren't I?
Ah well. Nothing to be done about it now.

But, I stayed home from a breakfast/lunch gathering at friends because of the sicklies and this paper and this isn't helping is it? I should go get to it. I even drank a real cup of coffee to harness the powers of caffeine for my day of editing statistics and references. Here goes nothing…

Happy sunday.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Good week really

This long weekend was great. All of Dad's friends showed up out of the woodwork though with visits and food and bad but so good. I had a great visit with Dad. He taught me how to weld and we built some stuff from wood together in the shop (ok I just sanded stuff and varnished at the end but it was fun to hang out with him). The weather was very cold but we got out at least once for a winter walk with the neighbor's dog. I knitted. I read a book. I drank wine. I played lots of rummy and dominoes with my Dad and his friends. It was nice to just visit with my Dad and spend some time with him with no obligations or things to do. J was at home so I could just focus on Dad. I need to definitely do it again soon.
After getting back, this week I admit that I have gotten up to work out but have mostly just had leisurely breakfasts with my cats and gotten a few errands done. I'll get back to it I know -it's just that time of year - cold and bleary just makes me want to eat bread and skittles and nap. I need to snap out of it or I'll nap february away and get myself into a new set of pants. And so I will. Tomorrow. Heh heh...
On the plus side tho - yesterday I went to see my old buddy Ben at his shop and finally got my tattoo on my left inner forearm that I've wanted for many years. I was about to get it when I was diagnosed and didn't want to stress my body out with all of that during treatment but now that I'm healed I have the all clear and I finally got up the nerve to go in. It's J's nickname for me (Spark) written in Gallifreyan - the language of the time lords. I am very deliriously happy with it. Ben cursed me for the design saying it was everything difficult that a tattoo artist hates to see in a design because it's very difficult to do plain lines and circles and that's about all I gave him. If it wasn't for a friend he wouldn't have done it because of the stress and difficulty, but aw shucks my friend who is the only one I would ever want to do this (and the most talented tatooist/artist I know) made an exception for me and I am very grateful.  I love it. It is a reminder of all the goodness and love in my life.

Because life is good people.
It really is.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

back at it

Feeling better today. Settling into the new norm.
Got out to a movie last night (Jupiter Rising...pretty cool scifi stuff) and this morning I was up to workout. It's a much faster morning without Gavin to tend to, so I hopped on the bike for 30 minutes before I got ready for work. Tomorrow I'll get back to a full version of my new workout. My stitches are out now so I don't have an excuse other than laziness to not workout in the AM. It's amazing how quickly you lose the ooomph to workout just by having to ease off for a few weeks. I need to get back to it. So I shall.
This weekend my brother and I are goint to go visit my dad fort he weekend since monday is a holiday here. J has a gig so he won't be coming, but it will be good to visit my dad and relax for a bit. Time for a good book and some wine and a few skidoo rides. Maybe some ice fishing and card games...and if there aren't a lot of wolves out this winter I hope for a hike or two in the woods too. We'll see. I plan to bundle up and walk in the cold and do some exploring :)

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Some things are worth it

There is a price to pay for being the recipient of 19 years of love and companionship: your pets take a huge chunk of your heart with them when they go. It's like the 10th Doctor said in the episode "School Reunion" (with Sara Jane Smith and K-9): "You can spend the rest of your life with me... but I can't spend the rest of my life with you." And later when Rose asks Sara Jane if she should go with the Doctor, Sara Jane responds "Some things are worth getting your heart broken for."
And yes it's true. But damn, it still hurts tho...
recent photo of Gavin when he felt all posey last month
This weekend our old Gavin took a turn for the worst and began to have trouble walking and on Monday he went off his food...and he didn't bounce back like he had in the past. He was just tired and weak and it was no way to be living for such a dignified and happy cat... so yesterday morning we called our lovely vet who came to our home and put him to sleep gently and peacefully there, while sitting on J's lap - his favourite place in the world. It would have been cruel to keep him with us any longer. I really don't know how much longer he would have made it on his own, but neither of us could put him through any more days of that. Having a few days to wrap our heads around it made it a bit easier than with Geek, but it still hurts. Although we're both relieved he's at peace now and know it was the right thing to do J is taking it quite hard - Gavin was undoubtedly his cat through and through. He learned to love me over time and he kept me company while I was home sick. We've spent the last 3 odd months making sure he ate enough and keeping an eye on his health to make sure he wasn't suffering...but it was time. I used to wonder when the vet told me in November that I'd know when it was time...but it's true. We both did.
I'll miss you Gavin. Be at peace my little friend.
Go chase come lasers in the sky with Geek. He's been waiting for ya.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

February can bite my bum

February - my least favourite month. Usually it's dang cold and grey, with much hibernation and movie watching and tea. BUT, the days are getting longer. Plus I have a knee length, big hooded winter coat lined with down now so I can deal I think. Just wishing for spring...I found a weather kitty app that gives me pics of cute cats that helps a bit, but I can't wait for the cold to fade to get back to walks and time outside again.

I recieved the sweetest compliment friday from an old friend and coworker. She was the grad coordinator when I was in graduate school and now I work with her with the other grad students and she's like another mom to me...she pulled me aside with a big hug and tears in her eyes to tell me she liked my hair because it made me look like spunky old me again - like it was proof that I was finally back to life after everything I've gone through. *grin* And yes I think it does too. It's a silent symbol of my return to the world. With style points...:)

Starting tomorrow I can work out again but still can't use my arms much until my stitches are out on monday...but still, it'll feel good. My new 3X a week plan from my PT is a serious level up from before and I am so excited to jump into it. I've decided that come March I'm gonna start getting up to go into the gym again in the mornings at least 3 times a week and see if I can get back to that. It means just getting up 30 minutes earlier which isn't too evil so I'll try a week and see how it goes. I'd like to swim tuesdays and thursdays...and I could deal with a treadmill jog occasionally on wednesdays instead of just the bike as well. I'd like to try at least a few days a week there instead of at home just to shake things up a bit. Maybe try out a morning class again in April...we'll see. I mostly stay home in the AM now to look after the old codger cat, so as long as he's still with us I won't go every day, but I'm ready for more I think. I could do my workouts there as well as home and I tend to focus better when I'm in an actual's too tempting to slack or just sit with the cats in the mornings instead of exercise.

Speaking of slacking. I should get to work.
Later taters :)

Monday, January 26, 2015

lost a cyborg- gained a cyberpunk

Well the day surgery went well. My arm isn't sore at all. I can't use it much for about a week and I have to wear a stupid opticlear bandage over it until I get my stitches out in a few weeks to keep it clean, but if all continues to go well it should be fine. It'll have a nasty bruise once the stitches are out, but that's to be expected after they rummaged around in my arm to dig the port out. They just froze me up and let me watch the procedure (I'm such a nerd...) - it was so cool and at the end the doc took my phone and took a picture of it (they cleaned it up a bit but it's not clean, sorry of you're at all squeamish). That port served me very well for when it was needed. I was glad to have it. Now I'm glad it's gone. It's a physical way of declaring that I'm done treatment.

Goodbye cyborg implant. I'm glad to say I don't need you any more.

I also got my first haircut in over 14 months. It's rather cyberpunk. I feel rather badass. It's finally a STYLE I chose and not just growing out. It's nice to have a choice to be "me" again if that makes sense. So much of what happens during treatment is just adapting to what you're given and it's been a while since I could choose. It's about time :)
I can't workout for about 10 days, but I'm going to try and be as good as I can while I wait. It just rained for a day over all our snow so it's like a skating rink, but I bought some walking cleats for my shoes so I'm good to go for a little nice weather strolling. I will try and walk home from work as long as I can with this winter chinook we've been having before the winter dives back down into doomy chill.
Hope you all had a nice weekend! :)

Thursday, January 22, 2015

bye bye port

Tomorrow I get my chemo port removed. I am thrilled and nervous at the same time. I no longer need it  (yay!) so it makes sense to have it out...but it means no workouts for a few weeks to ensure I heal properly. My trainer just gave me a new workout and I'm itching to try it. New M/W/F workouts with tabata sprints on the bike T/Th. Kicking it up a notch. I must be patient...
It didn't hurt too much to have it put in and I wasn't allowed painkillers for that so I am hoping this will go similarly well. I have plans for movie watching and popcorn and tylenol. Do I know how to relax or what....

Heh. Since I'm gonna be on painkillers tomorrow I booked myself in for a wax tomorrow afternoon after it all. I figure I am either brilliant or nuts...

Tomorrow should be a strange but satisfying day.