Thursday, June 21, 2012

beyond frustrated

No workout this morning. I was up until almost 2 last night. I wish I could say I was working on my thesis. I could have worked out but I was tired. And seriously bummed out. It took all I had to get out of bed.
Here's the deal: My supervisor, who had my final thesis section since friday only started looking at it LAST NIGHT which was when she was to give it back to me. So, because she was "tired and had to stop" I only have 1/3 of it, which I stayed up to work on. She feels it is "horrible" and must be "extensively revised". I didn't think it was that bad...I'm more pissed at the time delay and her taking so damn long to even start to revise it and then get snitty at me for pointing out my looming deadlines. For making me wait and put things off. She knows how tight time is.

Poor J - when I got home he found me sobbing in frustration. We talked a bit and he helped cheer me up a bit so I could wind down a bit and sleep. I'm still on the edge though. I have a phone meeting with my supervisor in a half an hour and I hope it goes well.

I am just so utterly tired of working my ass off to find that my time and life are unimportant to others.
I have to rearrange my schedule over and over and over again. *I* have to wait. I keep putting my life on hold.  It's always in flux.

*I had a lot of bitter angry ranting here...but I deleted it...cause I'm calmer now, and I don't want to put that kind of spiteful negativity out there for you to absorb...so...think about a bunny, K? Or maybe a piece of key lime pie instead.


Mmm...pie...

If you ever offer to be a supervisor or mentor for someone I beg of you - take that responsibility to heart. Do not make your student's lives hell by mucking about with their schedules and putting your life before theirs. Don't leave and hand over responsibility and randomly, arbitrarily take it back. Because I know how the receiving end of it feels. It is lame...






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