life goals

I strive for this. Some days I fall flat on my face but you do what you can...

I'm in week 2 of my Couch to 5K program again. So far so good. i did my physio for the first time yesterday as well, so I'm slowly working my way back. Running in the morning is just a beautiful thing...it's too hot to run after work. So far so good. :)

I had my annual physical - the first one since I finished everything and I'm happy to say I'm in great health. My bad cholesterol is so low it's below the lower limit and all the other stuff is OK as well. It's good to know that I seem to be getting back to things and my health is good. After all I've been through, it's reassuring. I know I can never forget and pretend I'm not worried it'll come back, but for now I'm doing alright. I have a whole summer of just holidays and bonfires and BBQs and hiking and music festivals...and and Hee hee.

Build a fire...we're gonna build a fire

Well sunday I finally did what I've been saying I would do for 5 odd years or so...I built the firepit. J's aunts who used to live here built a small firepit right beside our house under the trees so I could never use it without possibly burning the house...or shed...or yard down. So yeah...no fires for me. We had actually taken to hauling wood across the river to a firepit in the trees there. All the pieces were here even so it cost me nothign but some manual labor... I just had to move it to a safe space in the yard. I decided that this summer I would do all the things like this I've been talking about because...well...because life is too damn short and I just want to have a fire in my back yard. (dammit)

And so after 2 hours of digging and sawing at tree roots (which was very satisfying if not a little frustrating) I present to you our fire pit. Mee hee.

J being the sweet man he is heard me swearing and digging and left to pick me up some cold beer so when I was done I could stand all satisfied and drink one (OK two...) smugly when I was done. I can have a bonfire in my yard now.

Squeee!

Safari

Today I attacked our yard. This was no small feat. After 3 hours of solid work our back yard has been mowed and pruned and all the  trees have been cut back. It felt good to work and holy cow does the yard look a zillion times better. My dad is coming for an overnight stay this week and since I'm pretty much 6 weeks from surgery I am OK to do to it and get it ready - plus I always feel bad if my yard is overgrown when my dad visits. He gets this look on his face...he never says anything, but I feel more adult when I have the yard in check. Ive had a valid excuse, but still...it's nice to look out from the deck (which I also got set up) and see my yard and it makes me happy. :) Tomorrow I plan on setting up the firepit and having a bonfire. I can't wait.

It's been a nice few weeks healing up and now I am going to go make a delicious supper and enjoy an evening with my J.

Hope you are all having a great weekend.

It's June. Let's get back on it.

This morning I started my slow return to exercise. Hee hee.
I did some lower body stuff and ab stuff:
ball passes
leg lifts
side leg lifts
kick backs
then some lunges, some squats, some sumo squats and good mornings...
Then I walked to work. Good start I think.

As of monday I can start at my upper body but I thought I'd ease into it. Tomorrow I'll try the bike. I want to start my couch to 5K in the mornings starting monday as well, so I'm pumped for that to start. The weather has been glorious and I see all those people out running and I'm jealous!!! I'm feeling pretty normal now and if I take it easy I think I'll be able to work on some jiggle and get a bit more fit for summer. I have things to do and I want to be healthy enough to do them :)

So nice to know that this is it. No more waiting. Time to get back to things.
Aw yeah.

There is no frigate like a book...

I've been into audio books lately. I can't seem to sit still long enough to read more than a chapter of something but I have been devouring audio books. First it was Amy Poehler's Yes Please and then All the Single Ladies by Dorothea Benton Frank (great car fluff "reading" for holiday drives to the lake btw). Now I'm moving on to Samantha Bee's book. I have Sarah Silverman on deck. Waiting for Tina Fey to arrive as well. Then I'm gonna switch from bios to a good drama I think. With my 40 minute walk to work it's nice to have something to listen to although I think anyone who bikes or jogs by me thinks I'm a bit off since I randomly say "oh no!" or laugh out loud as I walk. I have finally caught up on the few podcasts I follow so I only have new episodes of them every few weeks...if I put on music I just want to run...and that's soon, but not for another week. For now it's just walkies.

I've been struck listening to Amy Poehler and Samantha Bee (whom I admire) and it is interesting to hear stories of life from women my age with wit and weirdness.  There's a lot of talented women  out there...

Gone fishing

Heading up to visit my dad this weekend for the May long weekend. I can't wait. My sister and her husband will be there as well. J can't come, and I will miss him, but I could really use a mini holiday and a visit with my family. Hope to get in some fishing and lots of card games with some wine and sunshine at the lake. Hope you all have a great weekend :)

coccoons r us

Heh...I woke up in the middle of the night tugging on my bedsheet with all of my might and trying to roll over...much to the incredible annoyance of J. Apparently for about a minute I was trying to keep all the sheet to myself and coccoon up in it and no matter how hard he pulled I agressively pulled back and kept tugging. I had no memory of this until I woke after a particularly hard tug to find myself pulling the sheets around me aggressively and it took a minute or two before I woke up...then I had to convince him I was not being an asshat and was doing that in my sleep. Apparently I really wanted the sheet all to myself...

Heh. Oops. 

Perky. That's me...

On the weekend, while in the middle of doing something I came to the happy realization that I don't hurt anymore. Well OK if I were to biff myself in the boob it would bloody well sting still, but average everyday stuff is OK now. With my doc's OK I switched from an underwire bra which was pretty damn painful to a few good sports bras and that has made a huge difference in how I feel. The incision in the fold at the bottom of my breast is much happier now. Now I just have to wait for the incisions to heal up and not be all dry and scabby and stuff...and not lift heavy stuff for another few weeks....but that's no biggie.
I am pleased tho - the swelling has gone down on my breast that was lifted to match and they're pretty similar in size (and direction lol) now. It'll do pig. It'll do...I've been spending far too much time lately staring at my chest, truth be told.

Some old friends and 2 of their friends came down to stay with us for a roller derby tournament this weekend. J has known Ken since elementary school and he's been through so much truly hideous and crazy serious life shit and come out the other side finally. It is so good to see the real him again...healthy and happy and with someone who is a great person who supports him. We got in a little roller derby watching as a bonus which was cool. Seeing old friends is always a wonderful thing. It was a nice relaxing weekend. J didn't work most of it for once...which is rare. I got out with friends to hear some great music (and try not to dance too much) and have a good beer and just enjoy myself too. Good stuff.

It was cool to just catch up on things and relax and feel human. The thing about being slightly sedated or recovering is you can't just relax...I was always focused on my pain, or unable to concentrate and groggy and I dont' know just how pleasant a person I was to be around...annoyingly vague and babbly I suspect. I have started walking to work again and it's lovely. My steps back to life. In another week I can hop on the exercise bike and do some squats and lunges in the morning and in 3 weeks I can start running again on a couch to 5K program and get in some upper body weights again. I've put on about 10 Lb during all this recon business and I'd like to slowly get that off...but you don't restrict calories when you're healing - that's just dumb.

I finally feel like I will be healed some day. And that is absolutely fabulous. :)

so far so good

It's been a long week, but I'm feeling better every day. I'm down to having an advil here and there and I can raise my arms over my head now (can I get a woohoo?). I can touch myself (ahem) without wincing and I think in another week I'll be OK to remove the padding I have in the damn underwire bras I have to wear all the time so they don't rub and hurt my incisions. Right now my lifted breast looks bigger than the one they built me...so I am hoping it is swollen and will recede a bit. In clothes they look about the same, so I suppose that's the main thing. I have a check-up appointment with my surgeon on tuesday so he'll give me the low down.

I've decided to head out to a cabin with some friends this weekend and relax. There's going to be a mini outdoor party with DJs and some nice people, some of whom I know and the weather here has been beautiful lately (actually too hot for the season - 30C is not spring weather). It's supposed to be mid 20s all weekend, so it'll be a bice time to be outside. I wasn't sure if I'd feel up to it, but I know I'll be OK now. I will have to be social all weekend (psyching myself up as we speak) since J will be working for a large part of it, but even though I can't dance, I anticipate I'll likely have to crash early anyways most evenings what with me recovering and all so I hope I'll be alright. There's having fun and then there's stupid...balance. I think I can pull it off. Part of me just wants to crawl under the duvet all weekend, but I think this would be better for me. I hope it's the right choice. People are exhausting sometimes. I have a ride up there and back with someone so I don't have to worry too much about it.

I'm tired but happy...I can tell I miss J a lot...I've been listening to audio books just to have another voice around. I listened to all of Amy Poehler's Yes Please this week and thoroughly enjoyed it - it's a well put together audio book with lots of extras...it made me laugh out loud on more than on occasion and I'm sure the people on the bus are certain I'm a loony. Next is Samantha Bee's book I Know I am But What Are You. And I have some podcasts to catch up on.

Ow...ish

So far so good. The surgery went very well. Things look remarkably good. I now "match" and the girls look very perky indeed. Other than a lack of nipple on one side I'm balanced and back to my new normal. I just have to heal up.

more opiates please

Sadly, I am no longer on the fun painkillers that make me not care that I am in pain...and am back at work mumbling into my tea, but things are slowly coming along. In a few weeks I should be relatively pain free if I look after myself. Compared to last time it's really not too bad at all actually...I went to the comic expo on the weekend with friends and enjoyed myself - it's a great place to be when you're heavily medicated. I had a great visit with my sister and my friends...and now I'm home and having to be boring and work and stuff. J is away for a week working so I can whinge and moan and be annoying and heal up at my own pace...just have to work to keep the cats from sitting on my chest and all is well.

Just wanted to pop in and say hi, and that I'm OK. 

Soon I'll be back in business...

I know right? Now you can't think of anything else...