HIIT and some deep thoughts

I signed up for a community fitness class every wednesday with a friend from work. It's every wednesday at 6 - a HIIT class. I do believe today may kill me since I've been really slack about workouts since before christmas and it's been too damn cold for regular walks. She's looking to get into better shape too so we'll both be starting out at similar levels so I feel better about that.
With life being so crazy the last while I've been just sleeping and trying to be good to myself, but I like the idea of both getting out with friends and taking a fitness class.

I've been back to eating healthy, but need more activity again, so this will be a kick to keep at it - if only so the classes don't kill me :P    I used to really like HIIT workouts so I hope it's a fun time. I'm also considering signing up for Sweatflix online and starting in with my new gear on the weekend. I'm getting ready for some good workouts starting today. Gonna build me a summer body.
Time to get to back to it and get stronger and back to my "regular" me. Then I can get some fat grafting done (you need to be your "regular" size and shape to do it so that things stay balanced) on my foob and my back tattoo completed to cover my scars. A good goal...I figure by April I should be pretty on the level.
It's tough to workout in the winter here because it's dark and cold and the whole house is chilly when you get up. I used to get up and come into the gym on the bus, but I don't know if I want to anymore. I could do with more sleep and a home workout just fine. Once you start working out in a chilly house it is all good...but on a day like to day where it's -31 and -41 with the windchill the house is pretty chilly when you get first get up. I need it  though...so I will get back to it. The duvet will not trap me any longer...

I've been doing a lot of mental exercises as well too after last month trying to sort myself out. 
The thing is - I need to learn more about what I want and like and do these things with others. This is part of me becoming more grounded and whole and will allow me to be a better partner when I am looking after myself - I realized yesterday again how likely I am when I have no preference on something to just defer to others for what to do. To me it seemed a good solution - after all if I don't really care one way or the other why not let them chose? I took it as not having an opinion and making things easier for others in that way. I never considered that this could actually be insulting to them - to not consider what I think about something and defer like that can be viewed as though I am not interested in or valuing this thing or activity at all. This isn't the case for me - but is it a good way to be? I don't think so anymore.  So...even tho sometimes I may just be picking an arbitrary choice I do need to put more thought into these things. If I do have an opinion, then expressing it is a good thing. To do this I need to think about things more and pay attention to comments of others...

Interacting with people is damn tricky. Especially when you love them. Especially when they have depression - the last thing you want to do is tip toe around and cater to their needs - it makes things all weird and unbalanced and it's not an equal relationship. It mutates things and I don't want that.
I'm glad to be getting to know some new amazing people and I hope to keep that going...

So yeah...Just wanted to pop in to say hi. Jumble out a few thoughts to see them on the page. We'll see how stiff I am tomorrow.
Later taters...


azusmom said…
Boy, do I hear ya on this! It's easy to fall into the trap of not voicing one's opinion and going with the flow. Especially when life is crazy, and maybe you feel like if you have to make one more decision you might just go mad.
Hope the class was enjoyable, and you're not TOO sore today!

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