kick to the stomach

I'm seeing a holiday trend here. This weekend was busy busy fun fun and not workouts. I was gonna take just saturday off but sunday was a bust for me as well. Last night was go to bed early and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep because I had very little all weekend. 2 big shindigs with friends that went very very late. Lots of fun with friends but little sleep. I needed every minute last night o I will be working out when I get home because I just could not get out of bed at 530 this morning.

To be honest, I kinda over did it this weekend because friday afternoon I learned that a high school friend of mine who I literally just talked to on tuesday died very suddenly on wednesday. It's weird and bizarre and awful and I can't quite process it yet. Rachel was waiting for a kidney transplant but must have been sicker than she let on...but she didn't die from that - she died of a ruptured bowel...such a horrible thing. She was literally one of the kindest and sweetest people I've known - the kind of person who keeps others connected and it seems terribly unfair that after all her work to maintain and go through dialysis while waiting fro a kidney that something else totally random would do her in...and so suddenly. She didn't want a memorial, so those of us who want to remember her are going to gather for our own wake in a few weeks once the holidays are over to remember her. She always had a kind word for everyone and we'd nerd out at comic expo together and send each other goofy notes and messages all the time. The last note I have from her on tuesday (the day before...) was teasing me about eggnog gelato. She's holding it and taunting me with can you be joking about gelato and be dead the next day? It's just....surreal. And sad. But... life goes on...somehow I am here and she isn't. How weird is that?
People - tell the people you love how you feel and NEVER take the chance that you may miss out on letting them know how much they mean to you. You really never know when this sort of thing might happen.

So...I'll try and be better and not bury my sadness in food or drink. I'm just gonna keep working out in the mornings and try and keep the food in check and roll on through the holidays. The trick is all the work lunch meetings I'm having at really nice places with amazing food. I have to really start not eating a lot because I'm sabotaging all my hard work. But I will keep at it.

Every day is a gift. :)


JavaChick said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. A college friend died suddenly a few years back, and it really does feel surreal. You always think you will have more time.

Hugs, and take care of yourself.

azusmom said...

I'm so sorry!