I spent a good part of monday wondering if one of our oldest and dearest friends had killed himself. Thankfully he hasn't, but that's not something you want to experience. Ever. He is half a world away dealing with serious shit all alone and we can't help him and can hardly reach him. It's hard...other than sending him messages of encouragement and love we're stuck. J was devastated...and is now wondering if he can even be supportive right now...because what if the darkest of nights comes again and we can't stop him? I know that isn't on our heads really but you can't tell me that won't royally f*ck with your head for a long long time...so yeah. There's that.
My bestie H may have to sell her house because her husband lost his job months ago and they can't make ends meet...and I am trying to be a good friend. I'm taking her out for lunch, a clothing swap and to see Dr. Strange on the weekend to commiserate. She's doing OK under the curcumstances, but that just...well...sucks.
Then Trump won the election. I can't say I'm completely surprised...but I am appalled. He makes Harper look like a freaking archangel, so I don't have any idea what to expect...
Then this morning my old dear high school friend contacted me to let me know that her marriage is over...she and another close friend of mine will be separating soon. I am, quite frankly stunned. I had no idea. None. I wonder at how I could not have seen it. Just how a love like that can crumble...and I pledge to be there for both of them...and I wish I lived closer so I could just go over with a bottle of wine and talk.
It's odd. J and I have our ups and downs and sometimes I could just throttle him for being an emotional teeter totter, but deep down when it all comes together we've managed to weather the worst of things and still be here leaning on each other to get through the day. On my birthday he got me a few small gifts that reminded me just how well he knows me and loves me...and I feel loved.
And so things go on.Thankfully this weekend is going to refill our brains with some goodness. It's looking to be rather spectacular. A few good evenings of good music to go out to dance to with friends and J's friend's monthly "technobreakfast" gathering is tonight. An all night music party at her place with my friends DJing and breakfast and laughs in the morning. I'm on call for the guest chef breaky this time...I'm making baked french toast for the crowd. Maybe with rum sauce... yum. Here's to better days ahead.