OK...I've had time to calm down and I think I'm better able to go forward again. Walked home from work with J and we talked and ranted and hugged and as always he helped me settle in and deal with it. And so I am choosing to be positive. I'm looking for all the good things: More time for fitness - I can do the whole 2 months of insanity now. More time to enjoy the fall - I can go for my walks right until super snowy season when I have to switch to the bus. More time for me to have to help my Dad renovate our bathroom and get it done right - I can even get all the painting and tiling done and get it just right. And when the letter comes, whenever that is, I'll be ready. I'll be healthy and ready for healing. Bring it.
This morning I did the first real Insanity workout. The Plyometric Cardio Circuit one. Whew! Intense! A good warm up and then 3 minute exercise intervals of 30 seconds of different things with a 30 second break at the end of the 3 minutes for water. 3 sets of 3 minutes for one circuit followed by 7 minutes of good stretching and yoga type movements. Then 3 sets of 3 minutes for another circuit with 2 minutes of straight cardio at the end. I was sweating a tonne when I finished and I had to modify a few things (mostly frog jumps in and out for abs)...and take a few rest breaks...but I made it through, paying attention to form and pushing while still working at my own best pace. I was held back by my legs not being able to hop in and out anymore and my squeaky lungs...but I did it all I could and I feel really good about it. I can definitely do this. Plus it's the kind of workout I like where the more I do the more I'll be able to do, which I think will be very inspiring. I bet when I get back to this workout next week I'll be able to do more of the hops in and out for abs that I just couldn't finish and had to turn into big steps. All I know is right now I feel AMAZING.
This morning as I walked to work it was about -4 with the sunrise shining through a 10 foot shield of fog over the grassy path. It was stunningly beautiful and I was struck with just how happy I was right then. How things *are* OK. Great really when you put it all into perspective.
It's all gonna be fine peoples. It's all gonna be fine. :)