just the right thing to say

I am frustrated and disheartened for my husband. J has worked hard to get quite skilled at lighting and visuals and laser work and this weekend was supposed to be the first time he got to do a whole stage for a whole weekend of an event doing both lighting and visuals and lasers. A whole stage. He was pumped to finally have a chance to show people his ideas of stage design and what he can do...and when he showed up at the event yesterday to start setting up (for the event that was not very organized and had already changed one night's band listings from country to punk without warning so he had to redo an entire evening of stage design) there was someone else bringing in and setting up lighting. Sooooooo yeah- it turns out he's only doing visuals and lasers for the event. Noone told him this. Ever. Now this isn't a terrible thing - I mean it's still a great opportunity but the overall stage design and being able to really show his stuff is he's been working towards for nearly 6 months... that it has to be so disheartening. He wasted so much time on things people will never get to see. And well, dammit, it's really good. Working freelance puts you at the whims of others and I'd love so much for him to be able to show off what he's doing to a larger group of people. He is really good at this and I supported him to quit his day job to try and make a go of it on his own. Everyone should get to chase their dreams. He's trying to be positive and still do his best...but it won't be as grand as what he'd hoped and won't be the exposure he was hoping for in the same way... this has got to be so incredibly frustrating. I mean, even if he were to bring it up with the organizers at this point it won't change anything for the event now...so why bother? He'd just sound petty....sometimes being in a smaller city is frustrating. There's not a tonne of work to get so you have to suck it up and be at the whim of the organisers and hope for the best. For some things it's good. Others...not so much.

 Later today: It gets better...he has learned that they are not providing any sort of surface for him to project onto although they were promised up until yesterday. Also any walls or flat areas that he could project onto have been turned into displays... he has some pre-built objects the event tech thinks they are too large to be on stage with the bands. So yeah - 24 hours prior to the show he also has to design and build some shapes and other hanging objects, mount them somehow and video map them in time to project onto them. I hope the video will look good on them. I just can't believe how unorganized and unprofessional this whole experience has been. He will make the best of it, I know, but....
Clown shoes. All of them.

All this for a wonderful man who supports me through everything and deserves so much more. He said something really sweet the other day. We were talking late and I was frustrated that I will have scars on my stomach along with my other scar and we were chatting about that and how I still have recon surgery coming up in the fall and that I'd just like to jump to spring and be done it all thank you very much. He called me his beautiful battle scarred warrior and told me not to worry - it'll all work itself out in time and I'll still be me.

I wish I could say something equally lovely for him.

Love that man.

I tried to cheer myself by making an new supper while J was working - vegetarian shepherd's pie...it was really delicious with a bit of cheese on top and using fresh thyme from my little herby shrub. I watched a creepy movie and snacked with the cats...but still meh. Here's looking forward to the weekend. The first show J is working at on friday shoudl be a very good show and I'm looking forward to it despite it all...

1 comment:

solarity said...

This would-be light designer (turned librarian and dog groomer) feels J's pain.

Mary Anne in Kentucky