Monday, January 27, 2014

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Friday morning was my first of my new chemo treatment - taxotere and herceptin. It's the hard core kick-your-tumours-ass kinda drug. I've been all nervous about it but in all honesty...so far not too bad. I had none of the severe adverse reactions you can get during the actual treatment (good good) and after, other than being quite tired and mentally groggy I honestly felt better than with my previous FEC chemo cocktail. Thing is tho, this one is supposed to get me all tired and achey and odd in the next few days for a few days as my immune system is beaten down so I feel like I'm just waiting for dooooooooooooooooom. Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky again with not too bad of symptoms. Right now I am a bit achey but nothing terrible, and there's no nausea with this treatment so I can eat food like a normal person (there's only so much soup you can handle) so I'm sure it's going a long way to making me feel stronger.

Just had to write this out to calm my groggy nerves. The not knowing how I'll respond part is the part I am trying to be calm about right now. My lovely J was home with me since chemo but he is back at work today and I am suddenly alone with my thoughts and cats and groggy brain doing my best to rest my tired tired brain. Just groggy really...too groggy to read, but alert enough to think. It's odd. Perhaps I'll knit. I'm almost done knitting myself a hat (only took a month. heh.) and perhaps it may even fit (I have a bad track record of making hats too bug for myself. I hope it fits. It's lovely). I think it will fit better once I have hair. I've decided I'm wearing it anyway even if it fits like a smurf hat.

Hmmm...All a bit rambly here I think. Lots of waiting. Waiting to hear back about my long term sick benefits. Waiting to get a few things finished up at work for while I am gone long term. Waiting for my new symptoms. Waiting to see how my treatment will go...
Ah -I should take my tired brain for a little nap I think. Nothing more to be done today but rest :)

Stop!
Pillow time...


4 comments:

Yum Yucky said...

Feel free to be rambly any time you darn well please. I'll be here on the receiving end of the ramblefication. Enjoy your pillow time, my friend.

azusmom said...

Mucho pillow time!

solarity said...

Never had chemo, but I know about waiting to see how I'll react to things with many possible side effects. Pillow. Yes.

Mary Anne in Kentucky

grapecat said...

oh darling - hang in there! i am sure you will be lucky. chemo fog sucks for sure :(