Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My mamma used to say: crazy is as crazy does

This weekend was a long weekend. I am glad there was an extra day in there because I truly needed it. What began as a rather hideous weekend, ended up quite alright, although I wasn't sure to begin with.
Saturday, after a late night of working, I awoke early to a giant painful kink in the neck and the thought of working ALL day on my MSc. I had some breakfast and grumpily went in to work, with my neck throbbing in pain. I did everything I had to, but even driving (shoulder checking...ow...) hurt. I was miserable. It was when I came home and lipped off to my husband and ranted at him, when all he'd done was come to give me a hug to welcome me home that I realised I needed to take it down a notch, and start again. I'm generally *not* that kind of person. The look on his face said it all. I needed to calm down.
So - I did. I apologised, took some painkillers, and then made a drink and made some mini quiches for a potluck we were going to in a half an hour (rush rush rush...).
Then we headed out for what ended up being a fine evening. It was a friend's birthday potluck and movie night, and it turns out she had gotten engaged the night before, so we celebrated with lots of food...and then lots of wine and eventually, through the power of drinking games and EVERYONE there being way too tightly wound up with stress, having a full-on dance out, paper pirate hat wearing house party. The rum and wine flowed freely and there was much dancing and snackery. I lost a few of the drinking games and, as a result, near the end I was napping in the corner (I swear I'm 80 years old and need to nap when I've had a lot to drink :) ), but it was a very good time. Much steam was let off. We all needed it.

I spent sunday recouping. Thankfully I was just exhausted, not hungover. I did my best to relax and read a book, drank lots of tea and made homemade pizza and ate lots of toast with apple spice butter (divine). Yesterday, I felt like a rebooted new me, and since it was a provincial holiday and J had to work all day, I spent the day rotating between relaxing and catching up on a LOT of housework. Part of my stress from previously has been as coming home to a train wreck of a house, and having no time to even look at it. One of our cats had taken to peeing under the kitchen table, which meant there was a table and all the crap normally in the kitchen in the living room so I could treat the stain and then shampoo the carpets. There was nowhere to sit and relax...and it was driving us crazy. After morning pancakes with J, I was determined to make the most of my day once he left for work. Between breaks of reading and general house tidying I did 10 loads of laundry, cleaned the ENTIRE house, put the kitchen back together, repotted plants, baked some delicious muffins and made a great healthy supper for myself. I even watched a cheesy movie while tidying and settled in with a glass of rum and coke for the ending. Twilight is utterly ridiculous...I must say. It was the perfect thing tho. :)

My emotions were a bit up and down, but for the most part, I finally relaxed for what must be the first time in ages. At the thought of coming back to work today I got very anxious...and then (thanks to my slightly miswired brain) got hungry. *sigh* Realising it for what it was, I had a small bowl of all bran and almond milk (what? I love the stuff) to settle things as a low cal healthy filler and found I was OK after that. Sometimes it takes me a day to unwind and fend off crazies for a while. I've never had a full on panic attack, but I could feel things nearing the edge. I'm grateful for the day off to restore sanity, as I haven't been myself lately. I needed it-a day to chill and then another to get things back together. Looking around to see a clean, neat house does wonders for my mind. You don't realize how much something is bothering you until you fix it...

This morning, I sadly got up at 5:15 and came in to work out. I did my lower body work and 30 minutes on the arc trainer. It felt good. This morning I'm feeling rather thick around the middle, but I refuse to step on the scale. Whether it's psychological or not, I'm just trying to focus on being healthy this week. Living well. I'm going to see how long I can carry this zen with me. Hopefully at least a day :)

Have a good day :)

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