Lately I've been a bit miffed at one of the doctors I work with. She is going thru a bit of a mid-life thing and is a bit insecure...and it shows. She's late 40s (and looks great I may say) and lately has gotten an eye lift and some new clothes and recently gotten divorced too, which I'm sure isn't helping things (or maybe it is, who knows?).
Over the last 4-5 months I have really seriously focused on working out with weights and eating very healthily and, if I may be so bold to say it, it shows. I look great (I think) I'm not perfect by any means, but for me, I'm happy as I am. I have recently got clothing that fits my new fit frame and take pride in how I look now. I am confident. Strong.
And this doctor, LITERALLY every single damn time I see her comments on how "oh dear you *have* to stop now. Really, you're going to get too thin and it's not healthy. Just how *do* you do all that?". In front of others. Anyone. Sometimes it is awkward for them too...
And I patiently reply (for the 2 zillionth time) that I am eating healthily and working out with weights 5 days a week and I am very healthy, thanks. At first it was a compliment. Now it feels like either jealousy or like she's resentful or something. A few people have offered the odd compliment to me, but after a while it's just her and for a few weeks it actually had me concerned. I checked with my doctor and people I trust and asked them if I was going too far. They assured me that no, I am fine as I am - it's just a very dramatic change in how I look and feel. To be fair, we do have someone in our department who came down with an eating disorder last year and we all watched him shrink to rather skeletal size before he was convinced to get some help with his diet and compulsive exercise, so at first I thought she was just concerned for me, thinking I might be on the same path he was. It was scary to watch him. We are glad he's doing better.
But really. I'm not like that. I'm just trying to be healthy. The best me I can be. Instead of wondering what I'd feel like if I did this I'm just doing it and feeling it. Seeing as this lady is technically my boss, I still smile and answer the same way when she says these comments (she did again today...sigh) but I want to understand just why she is so bothered. I am not sure how to tell her to shut up about it already without being rude. I've tried polite. I've tried informative. And truly -I now resent the comparison. I've spent most of my entire life getting negative comments on my appearance because I *wasn't* fit and now that I am I am still getting some? WTF? Seriously. Does this sh*t not ever stop?
I just want to be a great me...Uberfrau. And I am.
So there.
Nyeah.
2 comments:
I so loved this post & the way you ended it! Like you wrote on my blog today.. people think we are not working hard for this yet still EATING!
Keep up the great work!
I think people who comment on being to skinny are people who "wish" they were like you.
My husband has always weighed lite, he's a ultra runner and I use to think he was too skinny until I lost my weight.
Now I hear it from people and my comment is I was told 2 years ago at work we'd have to work something out the following year if I keep missing work from illness. In 2010, I got "congratulations" for only missing 4 hours of work for sick time.
So, now I know what my comment will be to the next person who thinks I am to skinny.
Post a Comment