Procrastination 101

So here's the thing...back in November I agreed I'd be in a bellydance recital. I would be in 2 group numbers, and in a fit of insanity I said, "why sure, I'll do a solo too. And hey - given a choice between a short veil piece and a longer dance piece I'll take the longer one, as I like the music a lot more."

Heh heh.

Last night it occurred to me, that despite all my best efforts of thinking about rehearsing and dancing and practicing at home, I have, in essence practiced less than 5 hours total for this recital, not counting the group rehearsals twice a week. That is really sad...and so last night I panicked, realising that the recital is on valentines day...and that, my lovelies, is almost 1 small month away.

That's not a lot of days people

So last night my brain kicked in - I was on a mission...I went on iTunes, spent some of my birthday $$ and got the tunes I'll be dancing to, along with a Djinn album to practice other moves to. I was almost distracted by download errors from the iTunes store but I managed to just walk away after I'd gotten the songs I needed and put them on my iPod (I'll figure the rest out later).

Then J and I morphed our rec room in to a studio for me. Sounds impressive, but we really just took an old 3 X 3 mirror from an old reno and propped it up on some chairs so I could see myself do moves and then he left me be for 2 hours while I bumbled my way through the 2 group routines over and over again...trying to remember everything I'd forgotten over the holiday and get things going in my head again. I have the routines printed out and I tried to follow them when I lost track. I didn't give up...just did it over and over...restarting and redoing, trying to get the basic order down. Once I get that, I can work on refining the moves. I even went through my solo a few times...and remembered why I liked the song so much...but I panicked, as I still feel very leery - I do not even know the whole routineyet.
I have a lot to do.
I was stiff from jiggling this morning, and altho I will try and fit in some cardio every other day, the bellydance will definitely be my priority this next month - 1 hour a night minimum...and since I have my iPod with me at work, I can even go through each routine once at my lunch break. Once I have the order of movements down it will be a lot simpler...

I am determined...instead of whimpering and simpering and giving up I'm going to see just how kickass I can do these routines by the end of January. If the solo is still substandard, I'll cancel it and do the 2 group pieces, but I am now getting past the "oh when I practice I feel bad as I can't do it perfectly" roadblock in my head. And I figured this out...

Practise is practise.
It's hard work.
It's what you do when you don't know how to do something right.

It is also what makes you not look like a panicked deer caught in the headlights when you perform...makes you not look like someone who didn't practice, expecting themselves to be a natural perfect dancer "just because" without the hard work.

Image Source

This may seem obvious to all of you, but it never seems to sink into my brain. Time and time again in life, I've wondered about what I could have done if I'd actually tried harder. So many times I thought that I just couldn't do soemthing, and didn't give it the effort I would be too dissapointed in myself if I really tried hard and failed anyways. Running is one of the few things I persevered in...and that went well. So I know I can do things if I only try...but only when I want to.

So I'm going to try harder. I'm wishing this had sunk in last month, but I'll take what I have and go with it now.

And so - from this point on:
I am Zahira.
Hear me jiggle...:)


Haley said...

That deserves a big woohoo! Any chance you'll post a video for us once you master the art of the belly? :)

Donn Coppens said...

Do, or do not.
There is no try

Jedi Master Yoda

I love graphs and maps and charts and visual aids so this is like crack for my brain.

Yopu are "MO"-tivated than me that's fer sure.
Keep on keepin' on!