Hi again.
Felt like coming back today because I'm feeling pretty good. I did a thing.
Lemme explain...
This fall I turned 50.
I know. It shocked me too. I am not that old. I call shenanigans.
I came to realize that I'd stopped caring and put myself behind literally everything else over the last while. I'd lost strength, gained pudge and generally given up on spending time on myself. So -I decided in November to really make more of an effort to take care of me. I'm finally done my crunchifying post chemo meds (fuck yeah) and still seem to be healthy (knock on wood) so I used some of my work's health benefits to find a personal trainer who can work with me and all my surgical mods and work to make me strong again. Functionally. Instead of me winging it and ending up with injuries because I have weaknesses and don't know where they are or what I'm doing (or where to stop) to "push" and do bad things I am working slowly with someone who knows their shit to build strength all over. She isn't a slave driver - she's a "hey lets get you strong so you can enjoy your life and feel badass" sorta person. Plus she's a kinesiologist AND a giant nerd who likes anime and has a great sarcastic sense of humor. A good fit. I hope I don't run out of $$ for this. It's helped so much.
It's been a struggle but I am feeling better. Something about getting up early to go in to work out makes me more attentive to me for the rest of the day too. Knowing I have to meet someone twice a week who gets paid whether I show up or not helps too - not gonna lie. I have to go to bed on time. I take my vitamins. I drink more water. Yes I still struggle to not drink too much and not eat lazy food and all the crunchy things, but having been in inst-amenopause a few decades early does a number on you and I'm tired of complaining and doing nothing that really matters about it.
I am feeling healthier while I complain...yeah that's it. :)
It's been about 3 months now of somewhat regular workouts with 2 strength train sessions a week and the others cardio and I'm getting stronger. My "fat clothes" are getting loose. I'm working past weaknesses and correcting them because Ashley my trainer can see where I am weak and help me work on them. That's worth the moola and I'll be sad when I run out of benefits and have to cut back on my time with her because she is really helping me fill in all the weak bits in my body so I can train more.
After a knee wrench on the ice in early January and some sort of ridiculous toe thing that meant I had to get (gargh) a doc to do unfairly needley things to my one big toe I have been finally healthy for a few weeks and am getting back to strength training more now. It's fun. I feel badass.
I mean I can bench-press!! And that brings me to why I'm here today. This morning I used a squat rack for the first time in over a decade. It didn't hurt or crunch. I did 4 sets. Yes I am using an empty 45 Lb bar right now but I it IS 45 Lb...and I am doing it properly. I've been working to build up the muscles I lack and I hope to be able to get to the point in training (before I run out of money...sigh) to keep going and get stronger.
So far I've lost ~10 lb and gained muscle. Yes I'd like another 10 to leave too so some of my fave clothes would fit again, but I don't want to be stupid about it. I'm gaining a lot of muscle and in the end, I am working to feel good in my own skin again. I want to finish my 50th year being capable and strong and do things that are appropriate for me so I can healthy and strong.
Rawr.
So yeah -I hope you've been handling the winter blahs OK. I'm lifting heavy things over here. :)
Later taters
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