rawr

 I'm feeling pretty badass lately. 

I've been starting to use the bigger gym equipment recently in my training now that I've got some base strength and it may be childish but working with squat racks and big ol' lift bars  and leg press machines together with bench-pressing bigger weights has me very proud of myself. Rawr. My trainer has been working to strengthen me up all over and it's finally getting noticeable to me. I can lift things more. I can do a sun salutation on my toes. I feel muscles when I workout and see them start to peek out through my arms and abs. My weight is constant, but I am getting strong, so I know I'm making changes. Eventually I'll be able to lose a few # and there they'll be ready to show themselves off :)  I'll be sad when I run out of work benefits and have to scale way back with my trainer -I like her. She's really helped me fine tune my weaknesses and I hope I can budget things to at least meet with her occasionally still and keep my strength balanced and keep making gains in strength safely.

I so need to go shopping because I do need some new clothes for work. Most of my work stuff is just worn out. I feel more "adult" when I dress the part and altho I can't wear too nice things or they tend to get trashed in the lab I do want to not just wear nerd tshirts and jeans all the time - even tho it is annoying, I do see that I'm not treated as well by some academics when I do. Any power dynamics I can use in my favor I'm up for to be honest. Feeling spiffy makes me feel good too. I do refuse to get clothes that won't fit for long, or at least spend a lot of $$ on them right now so I'm trying to find used item while I'm working on me. A friend gave me some stretchy dress pants that are great for work- no pockets tho. *sigh*.

Going on a mini holiday to southern US for the eclipse in a month and I want to have clothes I feel good in. JJ and I are doing a road trip down to Texas to a giant eclipse music festival and there's a full solar eclipse during it. It's been a long time since we've just travelled and had fund and I really hope it is a good time. We haven't travelled with him not working or under a huge timeline for literally years and I really want this to be fun. Last major road trip we had just us ended in disaster. I do not wish to repeat that. I am hoping this will be a relaxing time to refresh and enjoy each other's company.

For now - I'll work on me. rawr.