All over the map

Busy times. Feeling like I am all over the place, while still making time for my life. For me lately the focus has been trying to flush out who I am and what I need in my life now that I'm clearer headed. Trying to support J without being a crutch. Hugging my cats. Alternating between clean eating and potato chips. Mmmm. Daily workouts have been fun and I signed up for another session of weekly tabata classes which I'm looking forward to.

Lately I've been lost in my head a lot and focusing on reconnecting with the people in my life who matter to me that I haven't been able to be close with..., I have been grateful for the time I've been able to be away and reconnect with friends. I have been able to visit some great friends on my own and I am excited about the upcoming Comic Expo in Calgary at the end of the month with my friend Heather. Next weekend I'll be in Edmonton (again...) to get my eyebrows microbladed on by someone there who is very skilled at it - I am nervous but very excited to have eyebrows again.  I am tired of drawing them on all the time and I just am not very good at it, so I hope for good results. I'll post pics for sure.

Although I do find being social exhausting sometimes (I don't get a lot of solo time), it is nice to have good time with friends. I tend to put everyone else first and being able to have some "me" time has been glorious. I'm trying not to feel guilty about it. Plus....honestly you don't realize how hard it is emotionally to be the main support for someone dealing with depression until you are out being filled up and supported yourself and top up those reserves again. It does J a wonder of good for us to be out with our friends as well - he's so isolated working from home and is much more sensitive to what others say and do  - social media is awful for that kind of situation and having this kind of support and fun times from friends is definitely a bonus. This weekend was a road trip up with friends to stay with a good friend who moved there recently for her birthday and a party at her and her partner's place. It was a long weekend of fun - altho I feel a big haggard and I think I may be getting a bit to old for these sorts of shenanigans, I did thoroughly enjoy myself and build on some new friendships. For that I am glad about. Now I can focus om home again and build my home life again.

I am trying to maintain daily workouts and I want to be ready for whatever final surgeries I have for finishing off my plastic surgery so I can just move on. I am looking forward to finally having met with the plastic surgeon to just know what's left for me. I want to sign off on this chapter of things...there is much to do. :)

1 comment:

JavaChick said...

Sounds like you are feeling pretty good, which is wonderful to hear. I've been feeling too busy lately myself; must be the time of year? We're all digging our way out of hibernation? :)