It's been a while, but I'm doing well. Really. It was up and down but I had some really good times with myself and feel like I'm in a good place at the moment.
The hiking trip was wonderful - I hiked up 1000m to the Akamida Ridge and had 2 great hikes with my friends. I can still do what I love. I was full of joy to be able to do this again. To be healthy again. It went OK having J there and the weekend was overall a good thing. Had some great visits around the campfire with old friends. After that J was gone for a few weeks working so I had time to myself to organize and think and get at peace with myself. This past weekend was Astral Harvest Music Festival and although I would have liked to camp with my friends that I usually do camp with our van was stuck in a muddy area so we were separate, but still ended up having some good times with new people despite that. It was a different experience, but overall a good one. I spent time with good people and J and I had …
So tired. Yesterday didn't go well.
Didn't go to the show last night. Managed to create a huge argument beforehand after what I did and it just went downhill from there. J went alone. We just cannot communicate without insulting each other somehow. Didn't sleep much last night.
J likely is not coming hiking this weekend. Maybe that is a good thing. We can't seem to stop arguing at the moment. Not sure what will happen with his eye meds but I am not giving up a weekend alone of hiking because he needs eye medicine.
I am so anxious. At times I am OK but the last few days I've been on the verge of tears occasionally just out of stress.
In 2 days J leaves to work for a weekend where he will be well paid and with good people but will get little sleep int he very hot sun. He gets back monday sometime utterly exhausted after working and likely up ~30 hours straight and as soon as he arrives we have to toss a few things into the van including me and be off to BC to make it for the training I have to attend for the festival I am volunteering at in BC. I will drive as much as possible and hopefully J can sleep, with a brief stop to sleep a few hours at my sisters on the way. J is also working in BC but he doesn't have to be there until wednesday. We are doing things this year that have never been done before for harm reduction and I really should be there for the training... So we are essentially packing up for 3 weeks away camping now and he is incredibly stressed about it all.