5:30 came way too early today.
I've had a lovely holiday. Pity it wasn't just a wee bit longer.
I had a nice 10 days off work. Most of that was spent putting on and tearing down an all night space themed electronic music party, but that too went well. We sold out and raised 900 for a local charity. We had an absolute BLAST and it was worth all the hard work. Then it was relaxing and laziness with family. Lots of nibbles and good wine and despite my compete inattention to food intake, I really did not do too badly. I've found the emotional attachments I have to food are not quite the same any more - which is good. Yes, some food still makes me happy because they are just plain delicious (like chilled gawerztraminer and pomegranates and cheese of any kind!) but I just can't *eat* like I used to. Eating is not in and of itself an event. I don't even know how to describe it, but it's not as important anymore. It seems this whole MSc thing has put this and other things in perspective...empty eating has lost it's appeal to me. It's not an activity that fills an emotional need for me. Now I still indulge - it's just a more concentrated enjoyed thing... and in smaller amounts. This is a good thing I think. It was so different to indulge slightly here and there and not feel guilty, knowing that it will work itself out, because I will be back at the gym and will continue to be eating healthy...because that's life now. And life is good.
This AM after a week of no official workouts (but much busyness) I came in for spin and sculpt class. I can tell it was too long of a holiday from workouts...I actually got dizzy during the sculpt part of class and had to forgo some bicep curls for just standing and breathing and not getting too dizzy...strange, but not entirely unexpected. I have a low blood pressure so if I go all out and I'm not used to it, I can faint. I know the signs and I didn't let it get to that point, but It was a reminder to me that I should really plan a few workouts over long periods off from the gym. We did get lots of walking (and dancing!) in this holiday, but nothing like the intensely focus workouts I was getting prior. I have to admit, the rest was nice, but I was missing the feeling of physical exertion by the end of the holidays. It's nice to be back into it now. I am dreading the way the gym will be overcrowded the next month or so, but that too will pass...I've never quite understood why some people need a new year to resolve to make changes, but to each their own. I have always been the sort to just do things when I'm good and ready :)
Now...time to get back to work (sigh), and it's final crunch time on my thesis. I dread it, but I am excited for it, because I know this is it - the last stretch! I will work my hardest to get it done for approval in March to decent in April. This may not happen, and I may drag it out over the summer time to preserve my sanity, but I'm giving it a good honest try. I feel refuelled again and ready to push thru. I've had time to relax with family and friends and read books for fun...and I know when I'm done this last stretch of hard work my AWESOME life is there waiting for me. I've had a little bit of it and it encourages me. :)
Further up and further in :)