Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Day 18: You've come a long way baby. Now don't be a jerk about it...

I woke up and did my ball DVD this morning. I had a nice breakfast and am here at work, ready to go. I'm on track! :)

I'm a little off mentally, as we ran into someone I knew many years ago after seeing Avatar last night. (Avatar is AMAZING. Go see it. Right now. Go on...off with you you can read this later...)
At the theatre we ran into a casual acquaintance through school we hadn't seen for years...and didn't really want to. Now I must clarify that this person isn't a bad person...I don't strongly dislike them or anything...I'm more ambivalent to them. I have a small amount of gratitude to him, as if I hadn't found him to be so annoying many years ago, I wouldn't have dragged the man I happily ended up marrying along with us when he asked me out for coffee and I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. In a way, I owe him big time. :)

Thing is, we know he and his wife live in town. If we'd wanted to reconnect we would have. I've politely brushed off Facebook contacts, as this person had tended to be clingy and I don't have a lot of free time and I choose how I spend it and who I spend it with. Regurgitated TV humour and casual discussion wears thin really quickly. I just don't have much in common with them. I'm past the point where I feel bad about myself and just hang out with people for the sole merit of the fact that they will talk to me. I know I have value. I'm OK with myself, by myself. I have taken time as I've grown in confidence and years to choose friends I care deeply for and...well, for a lack of another way to put it, this person was not chosen to be one of them. I'm hoping they don't just start"dropping by" or calling. I don't want to be rude and give them the firm brush off...I just don't have any desire whatsoever to reconnect on anything other than a very casual level. I'd rather they just drift back into the ether from where they came. And I resent them for feeling guilty about this.

Ah well...we'll see what happens. How do you deal with this?

1 comment:

Charlotte said...

How much do I love this: "I'm past the point where I feel bad about myself and just hang out with people for the sole merit of the fact that they will talk to me. I know I have value. "

As for how I deal with it? Probably not admirably. I use my kids as excuses a lot...