Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Baby steps...

This morning I biked to work again. It was nice.

While biking and wincing at expected pain that didn't actually come I was wondering how people with chronic pain deal with it. How do you live with knowing that things you do will hurt? I wonder if I would build stamina and character or shrivel up a bit from the overexposure to it all...you really never know until it happens. My Mum has arthritis in her wrists now and while she very rarely complains about it, I can see her slowing down and wincing often...many of her old habits are off limits now. How frustrating. She just found new ones to fill the gap, but I imagine it would get to you every once in a while...
Plus, I'm a wuss...I'll take stiff muscles or cramps, but actual pain and I'm running of to hide in the corner for hugs like a 3 year old. I've read blogs of people living with chronic pain and it makes my little bit of knee pain seem rather trivial in comparison...but it did hurt. It impacted how I lived my daily life...and I didn't like it one bit.
To be honest I was scared to speedwalk this morning like I'd planned...it wasn't laziness, I was scared my knee would start to hurt again and I just couldn't deal with that right now. I've been pain free for over a week. Moderation and exercise don't always mesh well for me and it's all I can do from keeping my self back and not pushing myself too hard and hurting myself again. Once my August holiday is over with I do plan on getting back into things on a more serious scale. For now I'll try and eat well and be active, but not push it. My doc warned me to be good. I shall be.

Baby steps...
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3 comments:

Crabby McSlacker said...

I'm like you: pain is scary! I really don't know how people cope with the chronic variety. I think I'd become a painkiller addict in short order.

Fingers crossed we stay mostly healthy!

Scrumpy said...

I agree. When I hurt my back doing yoga, I was wondering how the hell people do it. But maybe anything becomes normal after awhile.

Zhoen said...

Wouldn't wish it on anyone. And people take it differently. It wears away at one's energy and emotions. limits dreams.