It's for your own good you know

So if anyone feels like buying me a birthday gift (aw come on you know you want to) please consider this apron. I makes me larf like a little kid and I do need a new kitchen apron, so hey - everyone wins (Well except maybe you because you'd be spending $20...but come on - it's for me and you *love* me...don't you? *blink blink*).
Really - you'd make me smile. I'd even make you cookies of your chioce...and then mail them to you before I ate them all. Honest. *And* I'd think of you whenever I cooked with it. True, yes, I realize that making and mailing you baking is probably the same cost of me just buying the apron myself but I don't want to deprive you of the warm fuzzy feeling you'd get doing it (in addition to some damn tasty baked goods).
Everybody wins :)