I've been listening to the new Doves album, particularly the song Kingdom of Rust non-stop lately. Jetstream and Kingdom of Rust are in my head constantly. Perfect running tunes. I've always loved the Doves. Their earlier album The Last Broadcast is a top 10 favourite of mine...it has songs like Caught by the River and There Goes the Fear ...songs that that make me happy and floaty deep deep down in my brain just listening to them. Maybe it's a sign I'm feeling a bit better...music comforts me. To me, music is a necessity of life. Don't know why. Just is...
Bellydance class last night was great. We learned some new moves and spin combinations and a zills routine. I went and forgot my zills at class so I have to practice with "pretend" zills, but I'm pumped. It was nice to move and see other people and just dance. I love to dance. I find it so freeing and joybringing. It was so nice...
I wore my new choli that I'd sewed for myself before Christmas and my instructor is making me a tribal style belt with tassels on it. All my gear is Egyptian style with lots of coins so it'll be nice to have a tribal style kit too. Soon I'll be ready to perform in public and I'll need something to wear. Once I have one made I can use it as a prototype and make myself more...plus it's nice to just get something pretty for myself. I have to remind myself it's OK to pay someone else to make something...just because I can make something, doesn't mean I have to.
If only my knee would let me get back to it. It's still not normal. I think I'm going to begin some physio exercises on it - some leg extensions. I hope that helps.
I just wish I could workout. I'm honestly scared to do it...if my knee starts to hurt again I'll be very very frustrated. I used to run 6K no problem...I don't get why a half an hour on the elliptical is such a problem.
I must be a patient grasshopper.
Permit me a pouty lip and a whine or too...I miss my exerbuzz....I think it would help me get on with things.
Having my Dad here with us has been good. He's finally seemed to turn the critical corner from being utterly devastated to sad, but able to deal with things. I am so glad. I really want him to be able to go on...that the memories might be sad, but that he can not be trapped by his sorrow. Having things to do here in my house (oh the things he's been doing) has helped a lot - he's keeping busy and doing things. He's laughing. He's able to talk about Mom again.
This is good.
Tonight J and I are going on a date. A restored film print of the old sci-fi 1927 film Metropolis is playing in the old 1930's style theatre here in town, complete with the local orchestra playing the original sheet music written to go along with it (it's a silent film). It's a favourite film of both of us...I'm looking forward to it. A night out together will be just the thing I think. I'll have to pretty myself up...
Dad said this the other day and I agree - it's time to live again.