After all the hubub and whatsits about the rather mean article written in Marie Claire about fitness blogging I am finding myself to be more skeptical of...well...myself.
Many people blog for many reasons. I blog just for me. Not to disregard you readers (hello!) but ultimately this blog helps me be accountable for my health and fitness. Knowing I have to write it all down keeps it real. Plus I've met some great people in the blogosphere, and it encourages me to read their daily struggles and successes. I don't expect anyone to "tailer" their blog to make it more readable for me. If I like it I'll read it. That's it...I mean I'm a scientist. I write scientific papers. I won't even pretend to be a grippingly interesting writer :)
The article, altho rather cruel if you ask me, did point out something that I've often thought about. Sometimes when I read an article by someone who is REALLY into fitness or whatever exercise regime they're in and I stop and wonder why they aren't happy where they are at. Why they're pushing themselves so hard...why they aren't happy enough as they are. I'm not knocking striving for better or trying to be healthier, but really...I think it's so easy as a woman to keep comparing ourselves to each other and take our attitudes to beauty and carry it over, even in the fitness regime. To think that if we aren't sweating to the point of exhaustion or training for a mini marathon or counting every morsel that goes into our mouth we just aren't trying enough. In my opinion, that is sad.
I know for me I balk at logging all my daily food. It's not that I don't want to see it written down...I just don't like how fixated and paranoid it makes me about food. It's not good for me to look at food like that. I already give it too much space in my life...I'm looking at having a normal attitude to food...I know me. I know how I could get. I will not go there.
As for exercise? I want to feel healthy and fit. I want to rebuild my knee and have the energy to do what I need to do in a day. I feel like I'm on my journey there...and sometimes I have to really watch myself for not getting caught up in trying too hard...pushing too far just for bragging rights. At the end of the day I don't need to be an elite athlete...just me. I don't want fitness to take over my life where I'm counting calories or thinking about my next workout or how to be better. I really think it's easy to take it too far.
I count on those out in the blogosphere to give me a kind but reminding slap on the wrist if I go too far out somewhere and stop looking after myself properly. I personally think the support and kindness on the internet should be a force for goodness in our lives. In the end, although the article was mean (and totally biased)...it really made me think. It was a reminder that I should not look to others for the value I place on myself. That has to come from me. :)
And so today I'm proud that even though I have a midterm exam today (first in 10 years...oh man...) and a long day ahead of me I am looking after myself. I had a 30 minute bike ride with HIT intervals, some weights and stretching and healthy meals set out for my day.
All of you - remember that you are the reason you are doing this. You are worth it and I hope that at the end of the day you can look in the mirror and smile at who you are and all you've achieved.
Here's to another great day!
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Still sane. Well as sane as I was :)
This AM I got up extra early (5:45) and continued my last night's stream of organising and getting my sh*t together. There is now a pantry full of healthy food. The house is sane...ish. The cats are tended. I figure if I make an effort to keep on top of life, maybe it won't combust...I've started classes and stayed late to make up time and my head did not in fact explode as I at first thought it might yesterday. My 2 classes look to be all practical stuff I'm sort of familiar with (HELLO directed graduate learning! I think I love you !).
I even made healthy lunches and had a solid breakfast...I was actually going to do my ball DVD this AM strangely but I got up in robot mode and went right into the shower on autopilot and at about shampoo rinse-off time I realised I'd sort of skipped that part...but fear not people! All is not lost. Because I'm still fitting exercise in. It and healthy eating are becoming a part of life...and I'll fit more in. It will happen :)
To keep up with life, last night I walked briskly home from work for about 40 minutes. I'm glad I did as I ran into an old friend I haven't seen in ages on the way home, and my answering machine message I left for J about it on the way home prompted him to walk out and meet me halfway home, so we got a nice brisk walk at dusk home together. I love walking along the river with J...it's one of my favourite things. And this AM I biked to work to get a little exercise in...and tonight I'm gonna do my ball DVD when I get home from my brothers...or the elliptical. One or the other. It *will* happen...because it matters to me. My lungs are still beat up from being sick, but the more I do the better I'll get.
I am approaching the realisation that most days I will be able to keep it together. My old dear friend Cindi has a great blog, where she takes the time to post about things that matter to her and inspirations she's come to over time in her job or life...and one of her most recent posts really struck a chord with me - that when something is important to you and *really* matters, you make the time for it, even if it means giving up something else. It's all about priorities. What you choose to be important. Sure you can't have *everything*...but you can make time for the things that matter if they mean enough to you...
And I've decided I just need to keep my priorities straight because I'm pretty damn special- J, me...everything will have it's place. I made the harsh call that bellydance will have to be left out this semester even tho I love it, because there's no time to practice what I learn in my lessons...so I'll use that hour instead to workout. And next semester when my 2 classes are up I'll reevaluate my time. Day by day.
We can do this. I know we all can. ;)
A moment of clarity - thoughts in my head
Hmmm...a friend asked me if anything stuck out in my head as to a time or event the made me realise I needed to be more healthy.
A memory I'd forgotten popped into my mind:
Years ago, J and I had been lured out on a long mellow bike ride with friends, and I just couldn't keep up with them. I was way behind, constantly huffing and puffing and when we reached where we were going I honestly felt hot and dizzy and a bit sick. I felt like the fat kid at camp who could never keep up. The thing is, we weren't going that far or that fast. True, my friends were bike nuts and biked everywhere, but honestly...it should not have been that hard. They were keeping a slow pace for me as I didn't bike much at all at the time. I did not enjoy the ride.
It was crushing for me. I blinked back tears that I don't think anyone noticed as I pedalled furiously, feeling awful about myself. It was the proof I had been ignoring that I was doing NOTHING active...and hadn't been for a very long time. It forced me to realise that I needed to do more. That I couldn't do the things I wanted to in life. That doing *anything* would be better than nothing. My body felt like a prison. I'd felt fat before, but never like this. It was different. I felt unwell doing normal things.
THAT was the time I realised that I didn't want to be thin, I wanted to be able to live the life I wanted to live.
And that was when it all started to come together. It changed it from a negative attitude about food and weight to a positive change and I think it is what has made it stick for me over time. I went for walks in the morning. I started to do my exercise DVD. I tried to eat better. Bit by bit I felt better and fitter...and then there was no turning back. I realised that all good things take work, but that they are worth it. I was becoming hooked on being me. I was discovering I enjoyed things I never imagined I would, like running.
Once I knew how it felt to feel good and healthy, I was hooked.
On life.
A memory I'd forgotten popped into my mind:
Years ago, J and I had been lured out on a long mellow bike ride with friends, and I just couldn't keep up with them. I was way behind, constantly huffing and puffing and when we reached where we were going I honestly felt hot and dizzy and a bit sick. I felt like the fat kid at camp who could never keep up. The thing is, we weren't going that far or that fast. True, my friends were bike nuts and biked everywhere, but honestly...it should not have been that hard. They were keeping a slow pace for me as I didn't bike much at all at the time. I did not enjoy the ride.
It was crushing for me. I blinked back tears that I don't think anyone noticed as I pedalled furiously, feeling awful about myself. It was the proof I had been ignoring that I was doing NOTHING active...and hadn't been for a very long time. It forced me to realise that I needed to do more. That I couldn't do the things I wanted to in life. That doing *anything* would be better than nothing. My body felt like a prison. I'd felt fat before, but never like this. It was different. I felt unwell doing normal things.
THAT was the time I realised that I didn't want to be thin, I wanted to be able to live the life I wanted to live.
And that was when it all started to come together. It changed it from a negative attitude about food and weight to a positive change and I think it is what has made it stick for me over time. I went for walks in the morning. I started to do my exercise DVD. I tried to eat better. Bit by bit I felt better and fitter...and then there was no turning back. I realised that all good things take work, but that they are worth it. I was becoming hooked on being me. I was discovering I enjoyed things I never imagined I would, like running.
Once I knew how it felt to feel good and healthy, I was hooked.
On life.
Running - Chemical #1
It was a beauuuuuuutiful morning to run today. Lots of other happy people out there and a bunch of birds I've never seen before (tiny yellow ones...neato). I did 2 minutes walk + 5 minutes run 6 times and I kept a pretty brisk pace thanks to an old favourite album - Already by Jesus Jones...there's a few songs on it that capture how I felt about things this morning. I'm sure it's about the good things in life, but this morning, it was about how I felt as I ran...
It’s adrenalin for me that is waiting patiently,
For when push comes to shove which it usually does for me...
No time here to explain all the many ways to gain-
They sneak-up-behind you, jump start your mind for free.
And here it comes!
It’s a little bit sad, but isn’t it fun?
To spend your life chasing chemical #1
The romantics out there say that emotions aren’t this way,
But whatever the name, it feels the same to me.
And here it comes! Isn’t it fun?
I have been listening to old albums lately and thought I'd dig up an old favourite album on the iPod. Sometimes great music makes all the difference. For me sometimes the music fills me up and I run and breathe and honestly feel like I'm in the best place on earth. This morning was one of those times...I ran and sang out loud like a fool (and was heard and seen by a passerby who giggled at me...heh oops) and seemed to go further and faster than I have recently. I pushed myself but the little voices in my head that tell me what to do were helpful today...dare I say encouraging. They made me smile. It was a hard workout...but I loved every minute of it.
I have to find motion - I get release in motion,
If I move I'll be fine.
I've gotta find the right speed to shake off what I don't need,
So I can leave it all behind.
Motion takes me...
I was thinking as I ran, about just how much my whole attitude has changed over the years. Back when I started this whole fitness thing I had such a negative attitude towards myself and my body. When I needed to push myself I'd insult myself...egg myself on and dare myself to do more and prove myself wrong.
How twisted is that?
This morning, without really noticing it at first, I came to realise that now the voices were juxtaposed to the old ones. Things like "Hey you did it! Ah- you can totally do this, come on lets roll!" were more along the lines of how it went today. Even a full out cheesy arms in the air if I occasionally sprint the last few metres to the bridge at the end of my run is not out of the question these days :)
I know a lot of it is just the odds of having a good day, but it really brings it home to me how much we can make ourselves better or worse with all the little things in life and how we approach them. It makes me wonder just what other things I do or don't do in other parts of my life that I can work on.
Who'd a thought a sweaty run would get my mind going?
I'm not there yet...
Not weak enough yet.
I'll keep paying my bills
If this is as hard as it gets
On top of the world!
On top of the world...
It’s adrenalin for me that is waiting patiently,
For when push comes to shove which it usually does for me...
No time here to explain all the many ways to gain-
They sneak-up-behind you, jump start your mind for free.
And here it comes!
It’s a little bit sad, but isn’t it fun?
To spend your life chasing chemical #1
The romantics out there say that emotions aren’t this way,
But whatever the name, it feels the same to me.
And here it comes! Isn’t it fun?
I have been listening to old albums lately and thought I'd dig up an old favourite album on the iPod. Sometimes great music makes all the difference. For me sometimes the music fills me up and I run and breathe and honestly feel like I'm in the best place on earth. This morning was one of those times...I ran and sang out loud like a fool (and was heard and seen by a passerby who giggled at me...heh oops) and seemed to go further and faster than I have recently. I pushed myself but the little voices in my head that tell me what to do were helpful today...dare I say encouraging. They made me smile. It was a hard workout...but I loved every minute of it.
I have to find motion - I get release in motion,
If I move I'll be fine.
I've gotta find the right speed to shake off what I don't need,
So I can leave it all behind.
Motion takes me...
I was thinking as I ran, about just how much my whole attitude has changed over the years. Back when I started this whole fitness thing I had such a negative attitude towards myself and my body. When I needed to push myself I'd insult myself...egg myself on and dare myself to do more and prove myself wrong.
How twisted is that?
This morning, without really noticing it at first, I came to realise that now the voices were juxtaposed to the old ones. Things like "Hey you did it! Ah- you can totally do this, come on lets roll!" were more along the lines of how it went today. Even a full out cheesy arms in the air if I occasionally sprint the last few metres to the bridge at the end of my run is not out of the question these days :)
I know a lot of it is just the odds of having a good day, but it really brings it home to me how much we can make ourselves better or worse with all the little things in life and how we approach them. It makes me wonder just what other things I do or don't do in other parts of my life that I can work on.
Who'd a thought a sweaty run would get my mind going?
I'm not there yet...
Not weak enough yet.
I'll keep paying my bills
If this is as hard as it gets
On top of the world!
On top of the world...
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